Thanksgiving morning. Dozens of people are lined up outside the Stuckey Bowl waiting patiently for their Fine Corinthian Turkeys. Phil, looking like he's breaking out of a long meditation, says quietly, "Let them come". Shirley opens the door, and the turkey buyers begin filing in through the lobby. Phil pulls out a wooden box and removes the lid to show off the Fine Corinthian Turkey inside, making a big melodramatic production out of it. The man asks how much it is. Without hesitation, Phil replies, "Three hundred dollars." The man says, "What?!?" and Phil says, "What'd you think I said? $300?? Noooo...it's $83." The man says he can get the same turkey from the store for $15. Phil, feeling the economic crunch deep in his wallet, says, "$29.99 and that's my final offer." The man walks away, and the next guy laughs in Phil's face. Phil finally concedes and says, "$18," and the people agree to pay $18 for the Fine Corinthian Turkeys. Kenny walks over to Phil and hisses that Phil's gone crazy...those turkeys cost them $17 apiece. Phil's eyes meet Kenny's, and Kenny finally gets it, adding that Phil is crazy like a fox.
Back at Nancy and Mike's, Mike and Nancy's dad are just sitting there. Finally, Dad says, "That Internet is sure something." Mike is ecstatic that the man finally started a conversation. Mike beams as he kisses the man's ass with comments like, "Yes it is, Chester! It's something all right! You sure know how to start a conversation!" Nancy's dad stares at him and finally says, "What's wrong with you?" I'll tell ya, Pops...your daughter hasn't been giving up the ol' bootzilla as much as Mikey would likey, and I think it's driven the guy a bit batty. I'm no expert; this is just my opinion.
Finally, at the bowling alley, everyone is gathered for the Edward J. Stevens First Annual Thanksgiving Dinner. Ed makes a long speech about how Thanksgiving is about old but also NEW TRADITIONS, so there won't be any turkey tonight. Molly's date, an elderly man, says he hopes whatever it is that it's not full of MSG. Ed and Carol wheel out a fifty-pound meat loaf. Everyone stares in disbelief at this charred brown hunk of hamburger. Ed starts serving the meat loaf when someone complains that it's all raw inside. Ed can't believe this, because he cooked the damned thing for seventeen hours. Ed begins to panic when Phil wheels in a couple of golden brown Fine Corinthian Turkeys, saving the day as well as the TRADITION.