Meanwhile, Phil is inside the grocery store, hanging up a huge sign in the front window apologizing to the customers, but the shipment of Fine Corinthian Turkeys is not going to make it to the store in time for Thanksgiving. As the store manager walks over to see what Phil's doing, Phil segues into this sleazy rap about how he's in upper management, and that the truth is somebody dropped the ball at corporate with these Fine Corinthian Turkeys and never ordered them. So rather than look stupid for not having these hot Thanksgiving items, he's saving face for the store by not admitting they were too stupid to order the turkeys. The manager agrees and helps him hang up the sign. That Phil is one smooth feller.
During the final arguments, Ed says that Gavin is just a normal kid taking part in a local silly TRADITION. Frank Jordan doesn't have the right to kill harmless teens looking to drink a little beer and freebase a little coke. Frank's attorney hops up for his turn and says that this tradition is not only dumb and silly, but it's also illegal. "Not all traditions are meant to last," the attorney says. He adds that if Gavin had obeyed the fifty signs outside the property, his shoulder would be okay today. And if Floridians were smart enough to know how to reach election ballots, we might know who our next president would be by now.
After about twelve seconds of deliberation, the jury finds for...THE DEFENDANT! ED LOSES!! ED LOSES!! ED LOSES!! Never in the history of Ed has Ed blatantly lost a case. He's had some dissolve before getting to court, but NEVER anything like this. I've got to admit...my heart was racing a mile a minute over the outcome of this gripping tale.
In the kitchen at the bowling alley, Carol is busy preparing for the Thanksgiving feast. Ed walks in and begins packing everything up, quoting the man who just kicked his judicial ass by saying, "Not all traditions are meant to last." Rather, the Edward J. Stevens First Annual Thanksgiving Dinner will be breaking ALL traditions and building new ones instead. Carol thinks he's gone off the deep end, but Ed is hell-bent on making the Edward J. Stevens First Annual Thanksgiving Dinner a unique dining experience for everyone. As Ed walks out of the kitchen, Kenny walks in and warns Carol that she's about in for the ride of her life with this new revelation. Describing Ed, Kenny says solemnly, "There goes one inspirational bastard." My sentiments exactly.