Ed
Something Old, Something New

Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: D | Grade It Now!
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Gobble, Gobble, We Accept You, We Accept You, One Of Us

The afore-mentioned comment was made solely to appease all the grossly overweight women who read these recaps and complain about my Molly comments ad nauseam. I get it, ladies. You don't like it when I poke fun at fat women. I hear you loud and clear. Now...go suck a Twinkie and get over it, El Tubbo Wubbo.

Anyway...Carol and Molly are standing there in the vegetable aisle talking about holidays and traditions when Ed pops up, inviting them both to his first annual Thanksgiving dinner. Molly jumps at the chance, while Carol remains reserved and cool...she's actually looking forward to a Thanksgiving dinner alone. Ed lays the groundwork for an episode down the line when he tells Molly that they are "two peas in a pod," and Molly stares at him with her eyes just a-twinkling. I'm telling you guys right now...Ed will nail Molly before he gets in Carol's long johns. The Pittster sees all. He just doesn't understand three quarters of it.

Back at the office, Ed is questioning Public Nerdemy #1. It seems that Gavin and the owner of the lake house, Frank Jordan, have already been to court when both parties sued each other and the judge threw the case out of court. I have a quick comment: this incident happened on Halloween; now it's four days until Thanksgiving. Are the writers of Ed trying to tell me that there's already been one court case and now there'll be two in an incident that is barely three weeks old? I'm no stickler for details, but this one seems a bit ludicrous to me.

Ed asks Gavin to leave the room so he can talk to Gavin's mom and lay some of that steamy Ed rap down on her and perhaps get a little nerd mama nookie, if you get my drift. Gavin leaves the room, and Ed tells the Mom that Gavin comes across as a middle-aged stockbroker and not a normal teen. In order for them to stand a chance in court, Gavin has to act like a human being and not an android. Mom says she'll talk to him about it.

Out in the alley, Kenny is SCREAMING at Gavin. "Are you smiling at me," Kenny yells and then gets right in his face: "DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT SMILING AT ME!" Ed calls off the dogs and asks Kenny what the hell is he trying to do. Kenny says he's trying to scare Gavin straight. Ed says that won't be necessary. Kenny shrugs and walks away.

At Couple Central, Nancy's parents drive up in the driveway. Baby Sara, the worst actor on television directly behind Rob Lowe, is wearing a bird house on her head. Ahhh, it's not a bird house...it's a big-assed toboggan hat. Nancy's dad gets out of the car, pulls some luggage out of the trunk, and hands it to Mike without a word. Mike stares at him. Dad stares at Mike. Brad puts down his pen, flexes his wrist, and enjoys this plotline more than any other plotline offered up in the history of Ed. If the characters stay silent, the notes for the show are a lot easier to read.

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Ed

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