In court, Matt Roberts is on the stand. His alibi is that he was at Hurley's Bar, sipping Rob Roys and watching Dennis the Menace on TV. It was the episode where Dennis spilled some root beer on Mr. Wilson's couch. The judge asks if anyone can vouch for him, and his attorney says that the bartender Jim Russell has already vouched for him. According to the police report, he already has. It's then Bonnie's turn to grill Roberts. She tries to get Roberts to admit that he and the bartender are friends. Bonnie points out that the two are in the same hunting club. She asks if Matt considers Russell a good friend. Roberts gets ticked off and threatens Bonnie with, "If you're calling me a liar, you'd better be prepared to back it up." Bonnie wisely decides to end her interrogation about sixty-five questions early.
At the bowling alley, Carol is gushing to Molly, Ed, and everyone who will listen to her former cheerleader self that Bonnie Hane's a great woman. In fact, her work is downright inspiring. Warren walks up and says, "Evening ladies...Eric." Ed corrects him on the "Eric" line with "Ed." Warren blows Ed off and orders three kielbasa plates toot sweeeeee...as he spots Jessica in all her early Carol Vessey glory. Ed asks Warren if he'd like to take Jessica's order, giving him the chance for a little verbal interaction. He acts like he was just told to inspect her panties. Jessica orders two hot dogs with mustard and relish. Warren hollers out, "Yo grill boy, need a double dachshund with yellow neckties and green suspenders," and blows it off as "grill talk." Just as he's scoring some serious greasy hot dog points with Jessica, Trish walks up and asks "Lucky Charms" where her kielbasa plate is -- and this time don't forget the Funyuns. "Why'd she call you 'Lucky Charms'?" Jessica asks. "She didn't," Warren lies. "She was just ordering cereal. She's crazy."
Carol is still bitching to Ed about wanting her music box, like Ed is some sort of superhero that can just go and retrieve it from wherever it may be. No wonder he's seeking comfort in the arms of another cold-hearted bitch. Ed comforts Carol by saying he has a gut feeling that Matt Roberts is lying, and he's going to pay a visit to Hurley's.
Ed goes to Hurley's and walks up to the gruff character behind the bar. "Excuse me barkeep," he starts, and then finds himself in a query. "Do people still use that word -- 'barkeep'?" The barkeep says that they do and asks Ed if he wants a drink. Ed says yes please. After a long, uncomfortable silence, the barkeep asks, "What do you want?" Ed orders a martini, dry. The barkeep pours him a shot in a glass and Ed spouts off, "Feel free to hold the vermouth." The barkeep then goes into a venomous diatribe on how they don't have vermouth, peppermint schnapps, or that green melon-flavored crap. They have whiskey, tequila, and gin and that's it. Drink up or get lost. Ed drinks up.









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