At the bowling alley, Phil is handing out shoes -- one size eight and one size eleven to two identical twins. It's a sight gag that flops miserably and isn't worth delving into here, except that the twins might be fantasy fodder if not for the insane grins plastered across their mugs. Tim, Jessica, and Steve walk up to the counter and want to sign up their team for the bowling league. Phil, who must be having trouble making ends meet on a bowling alley manager's salary, is fishing for some payola from the teens as he says, "It would take someone like Ben Franklin to get your team signed up for League Night." Tim asks, "Why would Benjamin Franklin need to help us? He's dead." Now I get it. Tim's a clueless jock. I sure hope the writers beat us over the head with that fact several hundred more times. Phil drops two more Benjamin Franklin references and Tim finally asks what is up with Ben Franklin. Phil figures out that his not-so-subtle hints are not worth the effort and these morons are not going to be coughing up some bribe bucks, so he signs them up. He asks the name of their team and it's The Whatevers. Phil's impressed with the moniker and says it's very nice...very...detached.
Warren just happens to show up and announces that he's looking to join a league, too, maybe even The Whatevers' team. Sorry Warren...there's already four Whatevers on the team. As The Whatevers walk away, Warren asks "Stubby" if he can pull some strings and get him hooked up on The Whatevers' team. Phil reminds Warren that such an act would go against his ethics. Warren reminds Phil that he just watched him blatantly try to extort $100 from some teenagers who just wanted to bowl. Phil listens to Warren's squeaky voice of reason and decides to drop the whole ethics facade. While there are no other teams or vacancies on teams available, Phil lets Warren join his team, the Bad-ass Cowboys. Phil tells Warren to show up on League Night and "look for the Stetsons" to find them. Warren, channeling the dead spirit of Dale Evans, says "Yippee Ki Yay."
Ed and Mike are in Ed's office discussing Ed's recent date with Bonnie. Ed's about as tight-lipped on the date as G. Gordon Liddy during the Watergate hearings. Mike pleads with Ed to remember all the juicy details the next time he gets some Bonnie booty for his sake. Incidentally, Mike's still trying to beat the five-year rule by wearing a "Don't Worry Be Happy" t-shirt that has seen its better days. Carol struts in and says that Chief Spencer has started being extremely helpful in the case of the missing music box, and she has no idea why. Ed admits that he asked Bonnie to put on her snake outfit and coerce the Chief into being helpful. Carol tells Ed to thank Bonnie for her and Ed lights up, thinking of all the nasty little ways he can thank Bonnie. Carol says that the Chief wants to see her and asks Ed and Mike if they want to accompany her to the police station. Mike declines as he's reading a book with his itty-bitty book light, which saves that ingenious contraption for another five years. Ed agrees to accompany Carol to the police station.













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