Ed
The Music Box

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Uncle Bob: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Young Edward J. Stevens Finally Becomes A Man

In court and on the stand is the waiter from the restaurant, Guzman. The defense lawyer asks Guzman how he can be so sure that the person he saw is Matt Roberts, when he saw him from 150 feet. Guzman determines that what they're trying to do is railroad him like that scene from My Cousin Vinny. He reiterates that he's pretty sure that he saw Roberts there. The defense says that the bartender at Hurley's is VERY sure that he saw Matt Roberts on his stool having a drink at that time. Bonnie whispers to Ed that she doesn't like to lose. It makes her all mad and stuff. Ed says he has to go check something out and excuses himself, leaving Carol and Bonnie together at the table, which is about the absolute stupidest thing Ed has ever done. Bonnie leans over and says to Carol, "You like him, don't you." Carol is taken aback that it's that noticeable and counters with, "We're just friends." Bonnie is intrigued and says, "Really?" Carol says, "Yes. We're just buddies." Carol then mentally kicks herself in the ass for ever laying that whole "we're just friends" trip on Ed.

Ed runs into the bowling alley where Mike has set up his world-famous huge collection of hilarious drinking birds that he has allowed Ed to inherit. There must be seventy-five of those stupid little birds everywhere in Ed's office, each one dipping into their respective glasses of water and drinking. Ed says he doesn't want the birds as he stares at a book full of bartender recipes. Mike feels a tad ignorant, which is about thirty years overdue.

Ed goes to track down Roberts at his crossing-guard post and asks to speak to him. Roberts tries to say he's busy directing traffic in front of an elementary school. Ed drops the bomb that Rob Roys are made with scotch and vermouth. Hurley's doesn't carry vermouth. Ed knows this because he tried to order a martini, and the barkeep told him they didn't have vermouth. So Matt was LYING about the Rob Roys. Ed tells him that if he happens to find Carol's music box on his desk, he'll make sure that the D.A. will take it easy on him. Matt still swears that he didn't steal it. Ed reminds him that the "D.A. is a real killer" and walks away. Matt looks shaken. I'm no Perry Mason, but I'm beginning to think the shifty waiter may not have had anything to do with the Case of the Missing Music Box and that ol' Matt may have stolen the box.

Jeezum Crow...more commercials. I thought for a second that Penn killed Teller for eating a piece of stuffed crust pizza, but it was just another crazy stunt those two have come up with. Gosh. Siegfried and Roy have nothing on these freaks.

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