The Music Box

Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: D+ | Grade It Now!
Young Edward J. Stevens Finally Becomes A Man

Carol and Ed are then shown walking through the police station to Chief Spencer's office. Carol thinks that she should repay Bonnie with a lovely picture frame or a gift certificate for lighting a fire under Spencer's lazy ass. They walk into his office and Spencer greets Ed with, "There he is -- the man with the special connections. The guy who can pull strings...make City Hall dance the Macarena." Ed apologizes and tries to explain that the music box is very important to Carol, that's why he enlisted the help of Bonnie "The Boa" Hane. Spencer says, "Nooooo...I LOVE being pushed around by thirty-year-old district attorneys. Gets my heart pumping." The waiter is there already, looking about as shifty as Steve Buscemi. Carol asks if they've found anybody yet, and Spencer says that there are six Beetles registered in Stuckeyville and pulls out pictures of all six owners. "That's the guy!" the waiter says, pointing at the first picture. "That's a woman," the Chief says. A close-up is shown of Stuckeyville's resident bull dyke and what a handsome bull dyke she is. The waiter then apologizes and admits he recognizes her from his yoga class. Carol shuffles through the photos and says, "This guy looks familiar." The waiter agrees because he's quick to pin the blame on anyone and steer the attention off of himself. The person in question is Matt Roberts. "Bring him in," Ed says. "Not so fast," Spencer says. "I've got to talk to your girlfriend the D.A. first." Ed tries to laugh off the whole "girlfriend" remark in front of Carol, but he fails miserably. Carol tries to look like she's not uncomfortable with talk of Ed having a girlfriend, but she fails miserably as well. In fact, she looks like she just laid a brick in her granny panties.

We then slam head-on into a slew of commercials.

Over at Carol's house, she and Molly are preparing a gourmet meal which means Carol will be lucky to get three bites. They both start prattling on about the Food Network's Iron Chef and how one of the guys on the show recently got cocky with clams. Carol mentions that she thinks Bonnie Hane is attractive. Molly's taken aback and says that she almost got conversation whiplash. Carol says she's smart, too. Molly says she's about to say something that she's never said before: "Don't go there girlfriend." It lacks any kind of luster that it should have held because Molly is no Oprah. Carol thinks that Ed and Bonnie are great for each other: they're two lawyers, they could have in-depth lawyer conversations, stuff like that. Molly says she has three things to tell Carol. "One: I love you like a sister. Two: you're being insane, and three: it's impossible for a single man and a single woman to just be friends. Talented writer / director Nora Ephron has proven that point several times."

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