In Ed's office, Jackass is telling Ed all about the wreck. There was no damage done to either car, yet he got a letter from the guy's lawyer, who's suing Jackass for ten grand. Jackass insists that his car was barely moving. Jackass admits that he's between insurance policies right now and, as a high-school principal, he doesn't make an assload of money like Ed does. Ed says that's fine, takes off his diamond-encrusted Rolex, and tells Jackass he's going to have to answer some questions. Questions such as...ohhh...."Where did it happen?" Jackass says it was at the Pie Shop. "Were there any witnesses?" Yes...Carol Vessey. Ed's heart drops as he hears the name Carol Vessey come tumbling out of Jackass's lips. Ed tries to rebound and play it cool, but he's about as cool as Tim Conway at a Slayer concert. He babbles on and on that Carol's great, she's excellent, she'd make a great witness, she's good, she's good, she's good, she's good. It's like the time Rosie the Robot blew a fuse on The Jetsons and went a bit haywire. Except Ed's a bowling-alley lawyer and not a robotic maid. Still, after this, I wouldn't be a bit shocked if we found out Ed was really a cyborg. Ed assures Jackass that he will talk to this lawyer fella; Jackass thanks him, and leaves.
Mike walks in as Jackass is leaving; he asks Ed what Jackass was doing here. Ed says that he was at the office to let Ed know that he hangs out with Carol Vessey after school. Ed's silent for a few moments and then blurts, "We need a parade!" He jumps up from his desk as Mike tries to explain that the Michael Jackson album is tumbling down the charts and the economy can't possibly support a parade if it can't even support a new album from the King of Pop. Ed says, "That's where you're wrong, Mr. Giant Forehead," and calls Phil to his office. Phil's there in a heartbeat, marking the first time he's ever shown any sign of actually being an employee worth retaining. Ed tells Phil to round up Kenny and Shirley, and instruct them to go sign businesses up for the best darned parade that Stuckeyville has ever seen. Phil agrees to do so. I cover my face with my hands and moan. If there's one thing that will ruin this episode, it's a freakin' parade. Well...that and a shot of Kenny taking a dump on the beach. That'd pretty much do it for me.