At the alley Phil, Kenny and Shirley are sitting at the snack bar when Ed walks in. Ed says he's had a bad day and he wants them to give him some good news. He asks how the parade's coming along. Phil, with a big smile on his face, says it's going fantastic. Ed asks how many businesses are participating, and Phil gleefully responds, "Not a one!" Ed wants to know what the problem is, and Kenny raises his hand to say it's embarrassing, but nature's calling and he has to use the can. Ed excuses Kenny and asks again what's wrong. Phil says that the economy is bad and that people don't want a parade because it's depressing and plus Michael Jackson is failing miserably in his big comeback bid. Ed says that if the world's so depressing, shouldn't that be a reason to have a parade? Shirley tells Ed that rhetorical questions make her nervous. Ed tells Phil to get out there to every merchant in town and tell them there's a meeting at Stuckey Bowl that evening; if they come, there's free bowling for everyone. I get the feeling that if Ed had offered Chet free bowling, that'd be one less plotline we'd have to keep up with right now. Kenny comes back and tells Ed that he thinks he can wait on using the bathroom. Ed's glad to hear it. I'm not as lucky, as I run to the bathroom wanting to vomit over the sheer assness of tonight's episode.
Carol and Molly are walking through school when Molly tells Carol that she saw Jackass share a smile with Carol. Carol has no idea what she's talking about, but does have a twinkle in her eye whenever the subject of Jackass comes up. Molly asks if something's going on with the two of them, and Carol refuses to go on record about any of it. Carol excuses herself to go talk to the principal, and Molly chirps, "Things are getting interesting in Stuckeyville!" Which has got to be the biggest lie ever told.