The New World

Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: F | Grade It Now!
Mommy, Why's The Principal Vomiting in a Trash Can?

Mike is hosing down Nancy's booth, which has been retrieved from the garbage truck, as the Cookie Whores walk up. One of them says that it's a shame; it looks like the sanitation department must have got its signals crossed. Another says that accidents happen. They walk away as Nancy concocts a plan to divert their attention and replace their cookies with dog biscuits. Mike informs Nancy that it's time to walk away. It was supposed to be a hobby, and now she's ranting about Liver Snaps. She wants to know if he just expects her to sit around the house and do nothing. He tells her that she'll find something. She debates on what to do with all these cookies, and then you can tell an idea hits her. Oh boy...this is going to be great! I bet she shoves those cookies up the Cookie Whores' asses with a red hot poker!

At the courthouse, Ed asks Drunk-Ass whether he's ready to go in the courtroom. Drunk-Ass says that he's had a change of heart, and hands Ed a check for $15,000. Ed says it's extortion money and shouldn't be paid. Drunk-Ass says that he likes it in Stuckeyville; the wine's cheap and the women flow like cattle. He laughs and tells Ed that this means he won't be taking Ed to lunch anytime soon, after having to write a check for $15,000, and Ed says that's okay, he likes to eat his lunch...not drink it in a dimly lit tavern. Since they're not going into court, he asks Drunk-Ass to do him a favor. Ed needs Drunk-Ass to walk into the courtroom and retrieve a blue folder with Ed's name on it from the stenographer. Ed would do it himself, but the stenographer has a crush on him and Ed doesn't want to have to see her. Drunk-Ass says that's fine; he can probably even do that without tripping over his feet. Ed tells Drunk-Ass to wait until Ed gives Drunk-Ass the signal to do it. Chet and his client show up as Ed hops up to go meet them. Chet has brought a binding settlement; he says that if Ed signs it, this all goes away. Ed says that his client is willing to pay; then Ed signals for Drunk-Ass to go into the courtroom to pick up the folder, and Drunk-Ass does so. This kind of takes Chet aback, as Ed tells him that Drunk-Ass is ready to countersue, in the amount of $8000, for extortion. Ed says that he hopes Chet has lined up some good medical experts. Chet panics after seeing Drunk-Ass waltz into the courtroom, and his client quickly tells Chet to forget the whole thing; he no longer wants any money. The client hurriedly walks away as Chet sneers at Ed and says that they will meet again. Ed says he hopes so. I pray that they find a new gimmick for Chris if he does come back, because this one was about the worst characters I've ever seen on any television show short of Alice on The Brady Bunch. Chet walks away as Drunk-Ass walks out of the courtroom to let Ed know that not only is there no blue folder in there, but the stenographer is a 250-lb. Mexican. Ed smiles that he knows, and that Drunk-Ass is buying him lunch.

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