Ed
The Shot

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Uncle Bob: F | Grade It Now!
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The Choke Artist Returns

Commercials. I beg my television to show me the Honda Odyssey commercial one more time but my television is being one temperamental little bitch tonight and totally disses me. I won't forget about this, Mr. TV. Not by a long shot, bitch.

Molly and Carol are walking down the street. Carol's telling Molly that there's going to be another Celebrity Boxing show on TV which they both giggle over. Nancy looks like she already got in the ring with Danny Bonaduce because she's positively beastly in this episode. Carol says that the featured bout will be RuPaul vs. Squiggy, which has got to be much meaner than anything I've ever written in this space because Squiggy is suffering from multiple sclerosis and is like near death or something and RuPaul would beat that poor guy's ass to a pulp and who wants to have "Was thoroughly trashed by a transvestite on national television" on their tombstone? I'll tell you what....not me! So anyway, they're giggling about their little dig on Squiggy when they see Jim and his wife walking through the park like young lovers. Jim's wife looks...well...she's not as hot as Molly. And, you know, for me that's saying a lot. Molly looks like she's been socked in the gut by RuPaul and Carol tries to get her out of there. Molly says she wishes she hadn't seen that, which were my exact sentiments after watching Mulholland Drive.

Over at the Stuckey Bowl, Ed's asking Carol how Molly's doing. Carol says she's okay, she's tough. Ed says speaking of tough, Phil accidentally gave him the plastic piece of pie again. Ed yells for Phil to come get this plastic display pie and Phil says not now, he's busy. Phil runs over to Shirley and Kenny at the shoe counter and says Frankenhomie's on his way and asks Shirley if she's ready. Shirley doesn't know what to do. Phil explains it one more time. Basically, he's built a "Mousetrap"-like contraption where she drops a ball bearing in a shoe that then hits a vacuum tube, blah blah blah and then a sign that says, "Hi Frankenhomie!" pops up. Frankenhomie walks in and Kenny tells Phil and Shirley to stay there. Kenny walks over to Frankie and asks him if he has a woman in his life. He doesn't because he's shy. Kenny says that Shirley's shy too, and maybe Frankie may want to talk to Shirley sometime. Kenny says, "She'd like that," which drudges up that whole mental image of Shirley riding the Frankenhomie like an over-the-top amateur porn movie. Frankie walks over to Shirley and Shirley puts the ball bearing in the shoe. The entire contraption falls to pieces as soon as she does it, leaving everyone staring at each other blankly.

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Ed

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