Ed
The Shot

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The Choke Artist Returns

It's morning and Molly's putting lipstick on while staring at her reflection. She bends down to pick something up and we see her bed in the reflection...with that slimeball Jim laying in it!! My God!! The drunken slut caved and porked Jimmy like he wasn't a family man or something!! What kind of...who the hell does she....what in the world is she...man!! This is hot scoopage!!! So Jim asks her what she's doing and she tells them she's going to school, remember? She's a freakin' teacher, Jimbo! Or maybe you don't even remember anything specific about the poor woman, all you remember is that she had an ass you could eat a picnic off of. Jim reminds her that it's Saturday and there's no school on Saturday. He tries to put her at ease by telling her that six years ago, he married the wrong woman. The only problem is, Molly is in severe freak-out mode and isn't listening. She says that there's a doughnut outside waiting on her and she must go eat it because it's doughnut time for Molly, and then she hauls ass out of her own bedroom and house, leaving Jim alone to sniff the sheets or whatever the hell this pervert plans on doing.

Back at the alley, Shirley is handing some papers to Frankenhomie and he walks away. Phil asks Shirley to walk with him. He says she has a crush on Jack a.k.a. Frankenhomie. She says she doesn't. He says she does. She says she doesn't. They continue walking and talking in rapid-fire staccato fashion. It's giving me a headache and my hand is cramping from trying to take notes furiously. He asks why she won't talk to Frankenhomie. She says she's shy. He asks if she's shy because she has a crush on him. She says no, she's just shy. He asks if she's sure she doesn't have a crush on him. She asks if she did have a crush on Jack, why would she tell Phil. Phil says because she trusts him like a brother. She says she doesn't trust him like a brother. He asks if she did trust him like a brother, would she tell him that she had a crush on Frankenhomie. She says that if she did trust him like a brother, she would probably tell him about a crush on Frankenhomie. She then asks why are they walking like this. Phil says he doesn't know, but he saw it on The West Wing and it makes everything seem more important. This made my wife burst into a fit of giggles and me scratch my head aimlessly because I've never watched the show and have no idea what they're talking about. All I know is, I just spent fifteen minutes of a valuable Saturday morning rewinding my copy of Ed so that I could recap that one little scene. My sympathies to deborah, who recaps The West Wing, because man...that must be one hellish gig right there.

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