Ed
The Shot

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The Choke Artist Returns

Molly's sitting on a bench in a park when Jim walks up. Molly asks Jim if he's told his wife that he's leaving her for Molly yet. Jim says no, not yet. He couldn't find the right moment. Molly can't believe that there ever is a right moment. It's not like they'll be watching Baby Bob and during a commercial break his wife will say "You know, them talking babies sure are hilarious. Say honey, have you ever thought about leaving me for another woman?" Jim can clearly do without the sarcastic overtones that the conversation has quickly taken on and tells Molly that he's going to tell his wife, he truly is. Molly says that line came straight from the Married Guy's Cliché Checklist. Jim says for Molly to trust him; he'll do it. In fact, he's going to tell her tomorrow night, no matter what the circumstances. Molly says that they will meet back in the park at that bench on Sunday afternoon. If Jim hasn't told his wife by then, Molly's breaking up with him for good. Jim tells her to not worry, he IS breaking up with her. Jim asks Molly if they can go back to her place for a beer. Molly stares at him. A soda? Molly begins drooling. Some Steak-Ums?? Molly's ready to jump his bones if he doesn't stop talking so dirty to her. She manages to restrain her animal lust and tells him that they'll meet Sunday at noon.

Ed walks into the local Hi-Fi Hut and approaches Irv, played by The Late Show's Paul Schaffer with a bushy mustache and glasses my grandfather wouldn't be caught dead wearing because they're too square. Ed introduces himself and says he used to play basketball for Stuckeyville High when Irv refereed the games there. Ed asks Irv if he still refs and Irv says no. A while back, a fourteen-year-old kid didn't like one of his calls and found him after the game and beat him with a sack of gym shoes. Coulda been a bag full of jocks, Irv...count yer blessings, babe. Ed tells Irv he's getting a do-over for that horrifying game fifteen years ago and wants Irv to come referee it. Irv asks Ed if he likes action movies. Ed says he does. Irv shows him a back massager and says if Ed were to hook it up to his DVD player with surround sound, it'd feel like he was the one getting his ass kicked. Ed says he doesn't want the back massager. Irv says he doesn't wanna ref Ed's game. Ed smells what the Irv is cooking and agrees to buy the back massager. Irv agrees to ref the game. The Palestinians shake hands with the Israelis and the world is a much happier place.

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Ed

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