Ed
The Whole Truth

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The Whole Truth

Back at Charlie's bedside, Charlie is telling Ed that Ed's the only person who knows about his secret sex life with Ron...although Ron may have a hunch. He thinks most of his family would be able to accept it, but his son George is a man's man and he would be the hardest to convince. Charlie can't decide if he wants to take this secret to the grave with him, or if he should tell everyone and let the consequences be damned. Charlie decides that he wants his family to know his alternative lifestyle and tells Ed to go and gather the family to come into his room for a quick meeting and opinions on some new drapes for his room.

Dr. Scottie is in his office when Mike walks in. Mike informs Dr. Scottie that Dr. Jerome's practice was supposed to be left to him when Jerome retires. That's why Mike took the job -- to inherit the practice. Mike says he's only asking for Dr. Scottie's sympathy, and to please tell Dr. Jerome that he doesn't want the practice, and that Dr. Jerome should let Mike have it. Scottie says he understands completely and doesn't want to step on any toes. He'd be glad to tell Jerome to hand over the practice to Mike when the time comes. He then tells Mike that his friends call him Dr. Scot-TAY. Mike tells him to "try me again when I'm drunk."

Phil is at the head of a huge line for Open Mic auditions. A man is standing at the front of the line with a lute. Phil cannot believe a guy showed up with a lute and asks, "What? Are you from The Hobbit or something?" Phil passes on the guy with the lute. Next is Warren and his guitar. The conversation starts thus:

Phil: What's your name?
Warren: Warren Cheswick.
Phil: Great stage name. What's your real name?
Warren: Warren Cheswick.
Phil [nodding]: Perfect.

Yet another reason why Phil is my hero. Warren explains that he has a band -- the Warren Cheswick Experience. (Phil: "That's so original.") Phil says that the band can play the Open Mic night on one condition -- that Phil gets to sing lead.

Back at the hospital, Charlie's family is gathering outside his door, wondering what the meeting will be about. Just then, a doctor walks up to tell them that Charlie has passed away to that big gold lamé cloud in the sky. Which leaves Ed in a bit of a sticky situation as we go to...COMMERCIALS.

Back in the bowling alley, Kenny is doing his impression of Robin Williams as Mork calling Orson. It's quite possibly the single worst impression ever performed on network television, even worse than the impression that Robert Downey Jr. gives of a sober person. Phil sees Ed all dressed up in his black suit and says, "Hey Bossco. Going to a funeral?" Ed solemnly answers, "Yes, I am." Phil feels a bit more stupid after that exchange.

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Ed

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