Ed
The Whole Truth

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The Whole Truth

At the reading of Charlie's will, Ed starts the proceedings by chatting nervously about Charlie. He says he was a special guy. Loving... "Brave," chimes in a family member. "Gay," Ed adds quickly. "Soooo...on with the will." Charlie's son George says, "Can you repeat that last piece of business?" Ed realizes that he has to tell them. "Charlie was gay," he announces to the stunned family. "He intended to tell you himself, but he passed away before we could get in there. Questions? Comments?" The moment is silent and then Ron walks in. "I'm Ron Jeffries, Charlie's partner," he announces to the family. Ed says, "I see you've brought a meatloaf, Ron." Ron corrects Ed: "It's a cajun meatloaf." Muh God. I LOVE cajun meatloaf. The words "Cajun Meatloaf" begat even more commercials.

Slamming in to the last ten minutes of the show, Mike walks into Dr. Jerome's office with the finished results of a project that he has been working on for two years. This project cross-references every patient ever seen by the doctors and maps out their illnesses in a way that you and I will never imagine. But after he bursts in and makes his stunning announcement, he notices that Dr. Jerome is too busy surfing the internet and talking to a group of world wide physicians with the help of precious little Dr. Scottie. At this moment, Dr. Jerome is talking to a doctor in Sri Lanka. Mike looks at the screen and sees a Sri Lankan doctor staring at him saying, "Hello America!" Dr. Jerome can give two craps about Mike these days, and Mike can sense it. Kinda like the kid in The Sixth Sense could see dead people, except Mike can see he's about to lose his job.

Carol and Ed are bowling, or at least the closest thing to bowling since Carol keeps rolling gutter balls. Molly walks in, and Carol apologizes for ducking out on her the night she found out her grandpa was a homo. Molly thinks nothing of it and announces that she has come to thank Ed. Molly tells Ed that Charlie meant more to her than anything, and the fact that he had to hide who he was upset her. She was glad Charlie came out, if that's what made him happy. Molly says it sounds corny, but she learned something from Charlie and Ed. If you have something to say, a feeling to convey, just blurt it out, consequences be damned. Ed thinks that Molly's an open book and has nothing left to admit in public. Molly teases Ed: "You'd be so surprised." For instance...she's always been strangely attracted to Karl Malden. "Maybe it's the nose," she says. "It's big," Ed adds. "Not as big as what you're probably packing down there, Ed Stevens," she says, gesturing toward his crotch. "What? This?" Ed says as he whips out his shlong in the middle of the bowling alley. Molly gasps. "Oh, let me take it now, you macho stud stallion," Molly says as she falls to her knees and applies some Blistex to her cracked and dirty lips.

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Ed

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