We zip over to the Bowling Alley, where Phil has ordered a truckload of salt and pepper shakers to Ed's dismay. He ordered 5,000 of them because they're cheaper when they come in bulk. Ed gets a little hot under the collar and tells Phil to get rid of all but what they will need. Phil's solution? Close the door and guard it and tell the delivery men that he "no speaky English," which happens to be Phil's lamest moment on the show so far.
We close out the show with the grand re-opening of the Stuckey Bowl. Everything's painted, salted, and ready to rock. Ed stumbles upon Kenny entertaining another group of men who walk away howling. Ed's curiosity gets the best of him, and he asks Kenny what he is doing to make everyone crack up. Kenny hesitates and then finally breaks into the absolute WORST impression of "Fernando" from Saturday Night Live. "You...look...mahvelous," he says slowly and so badly that Billy Crystal could probably sue Kenny. Then again, Ed would represent Kenny and Billy Crystal would lose the lawsuit because nobody's foolish enough to take on Ed Stevens in Stuckeyville, baybee. Carol shows up at the big bash with Nick in tow. Naturally, they have to tongue-wrestle like they were seventh graders while people try to bowl around them. Ed looks like he's having thumb tacks pried slowly out of his nuts.
After the big bash is over, we're left with two people sitting and drinking at the end of one of the alleys. Ed and Carol? Nope. Kenny and Shirley? Nope. Mike and Nancy? Uh-uh. Try Ed and Fat Molly. The two characters who don't already have significant others. They're talking about life in general, and you can just tell that Molly's loins are aching for Ed to do whatever one does to stimulate another's loins.
As the camera pans back, we get a sight gag to end out the show. The words "Stuckey Bowl" have been painted nicely across the tops of the bowling lanes...except they ran out of room for the "L" in "Bowl" and it's dropping off the ceiling in awkward fashion.
Somebody call NBC and tell them to change it to twenty-two million and one. Count me in. I love this show.













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