Ummm...before I continue, I'd like to go on record right now and say that Brad F'n Pitt has never had sex with a spatula in his life. Granted...I've had my share of wooden spoons jammed up my ass, but that's a different story altogether.

Carol and her fat friend Molly are shown walking around outside. As usual, Molly's trying desperately to get Carol to start liking Ed. Molly sees all of Ed's charms and thinks that she can persuade Carol to fall in love with him if she justs whine about it long enough. Molly...babe. This is Brad F'n Pitt talking, sweetie. I've got a little suggestion for you: drop it. It's as annoying as jock itch when you start this crap about trying to get Carol to dump her boyfriend of seven years to go out with Ed. Let Carol make up her own mind. She's the one with two guys madly in love with her, while you sit at home each night and make sweet, sweet love to a vibrator named "Black Stallion." And fer Chrissakes...step away from the Twinkies, girlfriend. You've got the people at Hostess working overtime for your fat ass.

Ed and Mike are shown hiding behind a building, waiting for Carol to come walking by. Ed knows her daily routine now and knows she'll be walking by any second. Mike makes an off-hand comment that what they're doing is called "stalking." I rest my case from last week's episode as well as in the forums. Ed is a stalker, people. His own best friend admitted it. I know I harped on the subject of his behavior being somewhat stalker-like and a great number of you leapt to his defense, saying Ed was NOT a stalker and did NOT have stalker qualities. Well, guess what, Sherlock Shithead?? HE IS!!! (Brad F'n Pitt shoots his fist in the air several times while making a "Whoo! Whoo!" sound until the very real threat of hyperventilation sets in.)