...Mike and Ed sitting in the pie shop. Ed's got his nervous patter going, talking about how amazing his new gal pal Jennifer is. She's crazy, she's a bundle of life, and she's got game. Mike tries to get Ed to ask the waitress for her phone number. Ed thinks Mike's an idiot. Mike thinks Ed's a wuss. Mike asks Ed if it'd be okay if Jennifer came to his house wearing nothing but chocolate syrup and feathers for his birthday. Ed says no, adding that he's on his way to meet up with Señorita Crazypants now. He tells Mike to "enjoy the lunch, Married Man." Mike reiterates that Ed's a cruel man. While Ed's putting his coat on, Mike looks out the window and sees Jennifer walk up to a man on the street and start smooching him long and lustily. Ed's heart drops when he sees it. I acheived an erection, but that's just me.
Commercials. Over at the Grammy Awards, Train has just won the award for "Band Most Likely To Be Saying 'You Wanna Hot Apple Pie With That?' In Five Years Or Less." The camera pans over the crowd and it's really nice to see Boy George in the crowd. What with his heroin addiction and fall from grace, it's good to see that...oh. My bad. It's not Boy George, it's the date of the lead singer from Linkin Park. Looks like somebody has a little transvestite fetish working overtime.
Ed runs out onto the sidewalk, looking like he wants to kick some freshly-smooched-by-his-latest-girlfriend guy's ass. The guy's kinda in shock as Jennifer admits that she doesn't know him...she just kissed him. The guy introduces himself as Francis. Ed thinks this is getting a bit weird. Ed's hot for a girl that won't quit kissing strangers on the street. I've been there, Ed. Dating a psycho is hardly fun unless she shares her medication. Francis excuses himself before Ed fixes him a knuckle sandwich with mayo. Ed asks Jennifer what's going on, and Jennifer says that she likes Ed, but that this is who she is -- namely, a raving lunatic. Another man walks up and asks Jennifer if she's the girl who kissed him the other day. She admits that she was. The reason she kissed this latest guy is because one of the items on her "to do" list was to kiss a stranger with a mustache. The guy grins, smoothes his mustache, and says, "I knew this baby would pay off!" Ed's a wee bit perturbed by all of this and turns to leave. Jennifer tells him not to. Ed asks, "Why not?" and leaves anyway.