Ed
Ed

Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: B | 515 USERS: C+
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Uncle Bob's To Do List

Ed's locking up the bowling alley when he sees Fraulein Nutjob walk up. Jennifer apologizes for making out with a total stranger on the street earlier in the day just because he had facial hair. In a really sarcastic tone, Ed says that no apologies are needed, and that she is who she is. Jennifer tells him not to be mean, because it doesn't suit him. Ed tells her that she has dedicated herself to finding new roads in life each day, but that she only finds them and never goes down them all the way. She says it's because she's been down a lot of bad roads before. Ed says that none of those trips down bad roads were with him. Okay...I'm about a burp away from puking my ever-loving guts up at this smarmy romantic crap. Did I just stumble into a bad Renée Zellweger movie? This has got to be the most trite bullshit ever uttered on the show thus far. God...it gets worse...Jennifer doesn't want to "let [him] go,"and says that instead of finding new roads to go down, she's just going to go down one: Edward J. Stevens Avenue.

...And that's when it happened. I hurled all over myself from this sickly sweet sapfest of a show.

In the next scene, Jennifer's falling backward on a bed with Ed resting on top of her. Their kissing has now graduated into the type of kisses normally shared by a teacher and her principal. Ed tells Jennifer that he has his own personal ten-item "to do" list, and that he's going to be conducting it all night long. Jennifer says she'll be counting. Ed slowly moves down her body and out of camera range since he's about to go grab lunch at the Y. Jennifer writhes in ecstasy. I belch, and then another wave of Chunky Esophagus Soup comes up as I force myself to watch this pablum.

The next morning, we're backstage at the TV station, where MegaMark is yelling at a kid to "Make me pretty, Scooter!" The kid tries to round up enough makeup to cover the big guy's face completely. Warren storms in and announces that he still hasn't made a decision as to whether he's going to show the cafeteria exposé or Jackass and Carol mouth-humping, and that everyone is on a need-to-know basis. MegaMark says he's a thoroughbred and shouldn't be agitated before a race. No, Mega...you're as big as a thoroughbred, but that doesn't necessarily make you a thoroughbred.

Ed

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