Carol and Jackass are walking outside, both drinking coffee and describing their opposing caffeine tastes. Jackass likes his coffee strong and black like Mike Tyson's mama (yeah...like he's going to read this) while Carol likes Crème Brulée, which is the overbearing sissy of coffees. Carol giggles and admits that she fetched Jackass Crème Brulée rather than his usual simple coffee. You can tell that, for just a second, Jackass wants to toss the scalding hot coffee into Carol's pretty little face out of sheer, unbridled anger. And then he remembers that he's a recovering alcoholic, and puts those violent thoughts out of his head. Jackass casually mentions that he wants to put Carol in charge of the new Student TV project at school. Carol gets all giddy because every teacher in school wanted that gig and she can't believe he's going to let her have it. So she adopts this whole "I got this gig because I'm a great teacher" vibe until she remembers that she's conveniently been serving as Jackass's own personal human sperm bank for the last several months and maybe that's why he gave her the job. He swears he gave her the position because she's a good teacher and not because of her less public talents. She asks if that's true, and he says, "No, I gave it to you because you're my girlfriend." This gets Carol's goat and she's all, "Dennis!" and he's all, "I'm kidding!" and I'm all, "Carol Vessey swallows?!" They laugh like two teens in love, and the scene ends.

Meanwhile, Ed's waiting impatiently in front of the pie shop for what seems to be hours. A blonde -- who, from behind, looks just like the mystery woman -- slips past him on the street. Ed sees her and tells her to wait. When he gets right behind her, she turns around, and it's Shirley in a wig. Mike jumps out from behind a mailbox and starts snickering hysterically at having caught Ed with his guard down. Ed doesn't find this prank as funny as Mike does. Mike and Shirley decide to leave Ed to wait for his mystery woman, and Shirley wishes him good luck on finding the "beautiful psychotic lady." Ed asks the guy next door, who runs the laundromat, whether he's seen Ed's mystery woman. After some painfully long moments trying to recall whether a fox like Kelly Ripa has been around lately, the laundromat guy seems to recall her coming in and dropping off some laundry the day before. Ed asks if it would be possible for Ed to deliver her laundry to her. The laundry guy blurts, "Sure," as long as Ed dries and folds it first. Ed agrees to fold this babe's panties and take them to her. Lemme just say: I'm one hot guy for my age and stature. If I was walking down the street and just happened to kiss some total stranger, I sure as hell wouldn't want that stranger stalking me and going through my dainty boxer shorts in an attempt to get a date with me. Oh, who am I kidding? You're damned skippy, I'd want that! I mean...CLEAN BOXERS! Who wouldn't want that?