Ed
Ed

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Uncle Bob: B+ | 454 USERS: C+
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Mountains Out of Molehills

In Carol's classroom, Molly's reading a letter from a publisher. That writer dude from a few episodes back that Carol was dying to meet sent one of Carol's stories to the publisher. Basically, it's a rejection notice. Carol calls it the "death of a dream," which is kinda funny, because that's the same thing she said when her brand of birth-control pills was taken off the market. Molly says that if she had used phrases like that, maybe she wouldn't have been rejected. Carol thinks Molly's making light of the situation, and Molly says she's just kicking Carol while she's down. Carol says that it sucks to find out late in life that you're not good at anything except having long-term relationships with losers. Molly asks Carol if she knows how many times Tolstoy was rejected when he tried to sell Anna Karenina. Carol says she doesn't, and Molly says, "Well, he sold it immediately, but that's not the point here." Molly suggests that Carol goes to the local Stuckeyville newspaper, the Stuckeyville Progress, and write stories for them. She'll get experience, and get published; it's a great place to start. Carol says she can't, and asks, "Who am I kidding?" Molly says, "You're right, who are you kidding?" Carol asks if Molly's kicking again, and Molly says "Yup." You know, for a chick who just found out that her first boyfriend in ten years was a married man, Molly's got gumption when it comes to making others feel like complete and utter shit. I like that in a woman.

Mike and Ed are playing basketball in Mike's driveway. Ed's calling Mike "Sleepy Bear," for some reason, and then mentions that Mike's shoelaces are untied. Mike says that he hasn't fallen for that lame trick since they were nine. Ed stops dribbling, sighs and points at Mike's shoe, telling him to tie it before he hurts himself. Mike looks down, sees his shoe untied, and bends down to tie it, leaving Ed wide open to sink another basket with glee. A strange man in a heavy coat walks over to the two men and asks if one of them is Dr. Mike Burton. Mike says he is and the guy hands Mike an envelope, saying, "You've been served." Mike opens the envelope and finds that he's being sued for sexual harassment (gasp!). Mike says it's crazy, while Ed takes a look at the papers. Ed says that the claim is very vague, but that he'll take a long look at it. Mike's kinda shocked that his buddy would actually be representing him. Ed reminds Mike that although the suit will be very uncomfortable, it's also very winnable. Mike says he's never won an uncomfortable suit and says it'd probably be okay as long as he could win a double-breasted one with pinstripes. You kids have no idea how long I've been saving that gag up. Ed excuses himself from their thrilling ball game to go to the office and start working on this, telling Mike that everything will be fine. You know, as "fine" as things can be when the town finds out you're a perverted and predatory employer who goes by the nickname "Dr. Handsome." I knew that would come back to bite him in the ass.

Ed

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