Phil saunters up to Kenny, who's busy scraping the grill in the snack bar. Phil tells him that if he would just join the union, he wouldn't have to scrape the grill anymore. Well then, Mr. Stubbs, who the hell would scrape the grill? The way it sounds to me, unions create pandemonium. And pandemonium begets revolution. And don't you know, we're talkin' about a revolution, but it sounds like a whisper. Yes, you know this recap has completely wandered aimlessly into the gutter and is lying face-down in a puddle of its own recap vomit when I'm reduced to quoting fifteen-year-old Tracy Chapman lyrics for a cheap chuckle. Phil also says that if Kenny joins the union, when Kenny dies, somebody will write a folk song about him. Phil then strums his guitar and sings a folk song in the style of "Big Bad John." To wit: "He was strong as a moose and twice as tall, his heart was bigger than a bowling ball. He tried to outbowl a steam-powered bowling machine, now he's buried under lane 15. He's Kennyyyy...Kenny Sandusky." Kenny asks Phil to please go away.
Carol shows up to interview the Pumpkin Guy, Mr. Kiffel. They make small talk, and then she asks him why he grew a fifty-pound pumpkin. He says that he doesn't talk about the pumpkin. She wants to know why, and he says that when he grew the pumpkin, he made a decision not to talk about the pumpkin to the press, because then he'll be pegged as the Pumpkin Man for the rest of his life. Just like the way people can't look at Henry Winkler without thinking of him as The Fonz. Or how people read Uncle Bob's recaps and peg him as a perverted loser who churns out the same lame jokes with different setups each week. But Mr. Kiffel says he'll be more than happy to talk about anything except the pumpkin.
The scene cuts to Carol sitting in the Orange Lady's living room, talking to her about her affinity for the color orange. The lady says that orange is the most beautiful color -- that orange is sunshine, it is warmth, and it is life. She started doing this after she went out one time wearing orange and it got great reactions. A light bulb goes off over Carol's head as she asks the Orange Lady to go out for a walk to see people's reactions. The Orange Lady decides that this is a good idea, and says, "Orange you a good reporter?" The Orange Lady gets ready for the walk, draping a green scarf over her shoulders. Carol is taken aback by the scarf and asks why she's wearing a green scarf. The Orange Lady says it's because it's pretty. Carol argues and says, "But you're the Orange Lady!" The Orange Lady says, "Well, yeah...but I'm not totally anal about it." Unlike Carol and her insistence never to get involved in a meaningful relationship.