The prosecutor is giving her closing statement. Basically, Mike's an idiot, his jokes caused trouble, and if this were 1952, it'd be perfectly acceptable for him to compliment a woman's smile, but today that shit ain't tolerated. Ed asks whatever happened to "Innocent Until Proven Guilty," which has always been a phrase I've found overused. Ed thinks that we all need to trust each other and assume the best about each other. This nurse assumed the worst of Mike. She didn't ask him to stop; she sued him. Ed says that we as Americans owe it to each other to start trusting each other more, and that just because a guy grabs your ass, it doesn't necessarily mean he wants to have sex with you. It just means you have a nice ass. Get over it, lady.
The jury comes back with a decision quicker than a car wreck. Naturally, they find Mike innocent in quite possibly the most see-through court case ever on Ed. It would have been a major shocker if Mike were found guilty and lost his business and became a derelict male whore, standing on street corners of downtown Stuckeyville and calling out to lonely businessmen in their Mercedes Benzes, "Who wants a date with Dr. Handsome?!" But of course...that ain't happenin'. Nancy hugs Ed, and Ed grabs her ass in front of Mike and gives him a look that says. "No more of THIS shit, you idiot." Ed asks them if they want to grab some dinner, but Mike says he's worn out from all this, and that he'll just see Ed tomorrow. He thanks Ed, who lets Mike know that he's welcome. Mike and Nancy leave the courtroom arm in arm, as Mike wolf-whistles at every female in the room.
Carol shows up at the newspaper office and marches in to the editor's office like she's banging him, which she probably is since she's the town tramp and all. She asks how he liked her story "Suburban Dreams." He says that it was good, but that he can't use it. She wants to know why, and he says it's because it was seven pages long. If you need a point of reference, I'm on page five of this marathon o' chuckles right now. In Carol's defense, she used a large font. He says that he didn't want the story behind the story, he just wanted the story. It's a well-written piece, but he can't use it. Carol sullenly thanks him for the opportunity to be humiliated several times in a row, and he asks her if she's heard of Byron Smeltz. Carol has to think if she ever had sex with the guy, draws a blank, and says no. Dobbs explains that he hasn't filed a tax return in ten years, and Dobbs wants Carol to talk to him. Carol gets way more excited than she has any right to be and leaves. She turns around and asks to make sure that he wants her to write a story...right? He says yes, and she says she was just checking. This reminds me of the classic joke, "Why did God give blondes one more brain cell than He gave horses? So they wouldn't shit in the street at parades." Woohoo! In case you haven't noticed, I've gotten all wrapped up in the sexually harassing theme this week. I promise I'll cut back next week. Unless Dr. Jerome gets sued for feeling up one of the Golden Girls in next week's episode. Then it's full steam ahead, babe.