Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: B | Grade It Now!
Mountains Out of Molehills

In Ed's office, Ed is reading Mike the specific charges against him. We've already seen where he told Danielle that she had a bright smile and a comely appearance (definitely not sexual harassment), and where he told her she could never switch her perfume to a scent like pot roast (a joke). But apparently in the past he's told her that a sweater brought out her eyes (a fashion statement...not harassment), that her boyfriend's a lucky man (ummm...okayyy....), and that that Shaft is a bad mutha...(Hush yo' mouth!) Wha'? I'm just talkin' about Shaft. Mike asks Ed what happens next. Ed says this isn't the slam dunk that he thought it'd be. Mike's visibly upset, because he didn't have the common sense to keep his relationship on a purely business level, never joking or complimenting or talking about anything but patients' charts and actually trying to hold conversations with this little witch. Gawd. I can't really blame the woman. If I had been lucky enough to be born with a vagina, I'd be suing every guy who looked at me funny, too. That is, if I could ever take my hands out of it long enough to leave the house.

Commercials. Apparently the bald guy on ER is dead because NBC isn't promoting the show anymore. That show's going to sink faster than Leo DiCaprio at the end of Titanic now that Captain Baldy's gone.

In Carol's classroom, Molly's asking the "cub reporter" which story she's decided to write. Carol can't decide if she wants to report on the guy that has every single copy of Field and Stream since 1946 ("too dull"), the guy who got in a fistfight with Michael Dukakis ("too depressing"), the woman who eats nothing but hashbrowns ("too creepy"), the woman who wears only orange clothing ("also too creepy, but getting warmer"), or the man who grew a fifty-pound pumpkin in his back yard. Molly thinks the fifty-pound pumpkin story is the best, because you can never go wrong with abnormally large produce -- besides which, she can only imagine the size of pie a pumpkin like that could make, and how quickly she could scarf it all down. Molly's brought Carol a gift: a press hat. It barely covers that big head of Carol's that she received the day she became prom queen.

Ed and Mike are walking down the street as Ed tells Mike that they need to get him a new suit. Mike says he has a perfectly fine suit. Ed says Mike can't show up in court wearing a blue pinstripe suit with giant lapels because he'll look like a strip-club bouncer or a pimp. Mike says it's a business suit, and Ed says, "Whatever you say, Superfly." Mike asks if Ed's enjoying this. Ed says that if Mike's talking about the case, then, no, Ed's not enjoying that. But if Mike's talking about Ed holding Mike's fate in the palm of his hand...a-a-a-absolutely. Mike calls him a bastard, and Ed says he'll treat Mike to a pocket square.

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