Jessica and Warren are eating dinner and having a lively conversation about Harry Potter, both the book and the movie. It's cute. They bond over their shared inability to pronounce "Hermione," even though Hermione explains in the fourth book how to pronounce her name. Warren comments that he's surprised how cool Jessica is, because she's so "down to earth, and smart, and stuff." Jessica asks if he's surprised that she's not dumb and not a jerk. Warren tries to backpedal, but Jessica wonders what she ever did to make him think that she's "a stupid airheaded bitch." Warren tries to steer the conversation back to Quidditch. Jessica asks why he asked her out if he thought she was so terrible. Warren says that he likes her. Jessica says that he doesn't even know her, and sarcastically adds that she doesn't suppose her looks had anything to do with it. Okay. I can accept that Jessica is often stereotyped due to her looks. But it's their first date. How much is Warren really supposed to know about her? Yes, it was a dumb thing to say. But is she surprised that Warren stuck his foot in his mouth? Warren tries to explain it. Jessica explains that she was sick of "stupid, shallow relationships," but she's not seeing how things with Warren are any different. Warren has nothing to say. Jessica storms out. Warren drops some money on the table and follows her. As he walks out the door, Diane is standing there, because she wanted to see "the results of [her] grand experiment." Diane needs to get a hobby, and get over her crush on Warren. I like Warren and all, but she could do better. Warren and Diane watch Jessica walk away. Diane asks if Jessica is everything Warren imagined she would be. Warren sadly replies, "No. She's so much cooler." Diane's face falls.
Ed sits glumly in the darkened bowling alley. Big Pussy and Kay walk in. Kay is there to get her report on Big Pussy's freedom weekend. Ed hesitates and sighs again. Big Pussy steps up and says that he did it. He confesses that he asked Ed to lie, but he realizes that he never lied to Kay before, and he can't start now. Kay looks disappointed, but says, "Okay, then." They get up to leave. Ed asks if she's fine with Big Pussy sleeping with another woman. Kay says she does care, but that Big Pussy is her best friend, and he wanted to have an experience, so she made a sacrifice. Ed asks whether she's upset that her husband cheated on her. Is it cheating if she gave permission? Kay claims that 70\% of all married men cheat on their wives, and most wives never find out. Jesus, is that true? I did a search on Google to try to find out, but it was too depressing, because a lot of articles had that statistic even higher. Anyway. Kay claims that cheating is lying, and that her husband didn't lie. Ed asks whether it changes everything. Kay sits down and gives Ed a little lecture on what two people go through in twenty-five years of marriage. She lists off births, deaths, disasters, problems with money and kids. So, "one meaningless night in a bar with a girl barely even makes the list." Big Pussy helps Kay on with her coat and then offers to take her to the diner for some eggs. And just like that, everything is fine. Okay, then.