Carol, Ed, Mike, and Nancy play pool at the bar. Mike says that he doesn't understand the concept of the Outback Steakhouse, because Australia has nothing to do with steak. He compares it to "the Greenland Spaghetti House." No one seems to care, and Nancy tells Mike not to let it bother him. Mike claims that he can't because he's "a man of logic." Suddenly, Big Pussy stands up in the corner. Ed greets him as Mr. Pazzuti, but I'm just going to call him Big Pussy because it will inject a little of that ribald humor you all are so used to from Uncle Bob, the master of ribaldry. Big Pussy announces that he's turning fifty on Sunday, and he wants to buy everyone a drink. Everyone cheers. Ed tells Carol that he worked for Big Pussy's fish store one summer, deveining shrimp. See, Big Pussy sleeps with the fishes, and now he owns a fish store.
Big Pussy comes over and introduces his wife, Kay. The gang all sits down at a table. Big Pussy and Kay rib each other. Ed asks what Big Pussy is going to do to celebrate his birthday, and Kay sighs, so we know they've been over this before. Big Pussy explains that, for his birthday, he wants two days of freedom, to eat, drink, and smoke whatever he wants. Kay adds that he also wants to be able to sleep with whatever he wants. Big Pussy confirms that is part of the deal, too. Nancy can't believe her ears. Big Pussy explains that he's been a faithful husband for twenty-five years, a good provider, and a hard worker, and now he just wants two days to do whatever he wants. Carol agrees, but I think she's just humoring him. Kay thinks that Big Pussy is embarrassing himself, but Big Pussy thinks that his friends know the realities of the world: "Guys love sexy ladies. They can't get enough of them. It's got nothing to do with how they feel about their wives." Big Pussy looks to Mike for confirmation, but Mike wisely takes the fifth. Big Pussy asks Ed, who seems confused. Big Pussy offers up an analogy: if he eats and enjoys a steak, it doesn't mean that he loves it. I'm not sure that works, exactly. I think we can assume that he doesn't have another steak at home who loves him and feels jealous that he's out with other beef products. Uncle Bob gets another shoutout when Kay laughingly calls her husband a jackass. Mike takes the opportunity to ask what Big Pussy thinks of the Outback Steakhouse, like I'm sorry that Mike doesn't have a subplot this week, but this is the best they could do? Big Pussy loves the Bloomin' Onion.