Ed
Two Days of Freedom

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Two Days of Freedom

Carol is sitting at her desk, doing teacher-type stuff, when an announcement comes over the loudspeaker. Jackass sounds pretty pissed off this time when he asks her to report to the office. Carol storms in and tells him that he's her boss, and that this tomfoolery needs to stop. Actually, she didn't say "tomfoolery," but that seems like a word they might use on this show. Jackass claims that it's business-related, and when Carol relaxes, he reveals that the Chinese food business depends on them. Carol breathes, "Oh, you are such a jerk." Thank you! Now, leave. Jackass tells her that she's "blowing this way out of proportion." Wow, next he's going to tell her that she's got PMS or something. What a great way to win an argument. Carol says that she's not, and that she's been "in relationships with guys exactly like [him] ever since she was a teenager." Carol, honey? Therapy. Look into it. Carol claims that she no longer finds Jackass intriguing or compelling, and that he's just like every other manipulative jerk out there. Carol storms out, but not before telling Jackass that there is something unique about him: "You're the last jerk I'm ever going to date." Wow, that was almost believable. Except that we've still got a lot of time left in the episode.

Phil and Kenny unveil their latest creation for Ed. What I'm wondering is why the bowling alley has all these silver trays and lids lying around. Maybe when Phil ordered all the salt and pepper shakers, he snuck in some silver trays. Anyway, their latest creation is like chili dogs, except that they are chowder dogs. Which sounds really gross, but if you think about it, most chowder has bacon in it, which is also a pork product. So they would probably taste pretty good. Or not. Kenny explains with a flourish: "Also available Manhattan-style." Heh. Ed isn't impressed.

Big Pussy walks in and tells Ed that he's decided to take Kay up on her offer. Ed can't believe it. Big Pussy wants to go buy new pants for the adventure. Ed still can't believe it. Big Pussy says that Kay won't let him say no. They talked it through, and Big Pussy thinks she really wants him to do it. Ed thinks it's crazy, but Big Pussy needs some help buying new pants. Maybe he should talk to Mark. Apparently, they're having a clothing sale at the Big and Tall Men's store.

Warren walks down the street, and spots Jessica window-shopping. He steels his resolve and approaches her, trying to make small talk with typical Warren success. That is to say, none. Warren stammers out an invitation to do something together on Saturday night. He assumes that she's going to say no, and walks away. Jessica stops him and says that Saturday is fine. Warren is shocked but manages to confirm a time. Jessica says goodbye. Warren continues standing there, and then stutters that he forgot which one of them was looking at shoes. Luckily, Jessica finds that endearing.

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Ed

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