Ed and Big Pussy are at the beauty salon. Big Pussy wants Ed to get a manicure, but Ed refuses. Man, he's dumb. Manicures rule. Anyway, Mike walks in and congratulates his "new hero," Big Pussy. Ed wonders why he seems to be the only guy who doesn't get why Big Pussy's deal is bad. Big Pussy says that it's because Ed isn't married. Mike agrees. Ed thinks it's depressing. Mike says it's uplifting. Ed wonders what's uplifting about a guy who's not being satisfied by his wife. Big Pussy says that he is satisfied. Ed still doesn't get why he wants to sleep with another woman. Big Pussy says again that it's because Ed isn't married. I can understand the urge, after being in a marriage or other long-term relationship, to have some freedom. But I would think that Big Pussy could go out, drink, smoke, eat, and flirt, and satisfy that urge without actually doing the deed with another lady. It seems like knowing that he could have is almost as good as actually doing it. Then again, I'm not a guy. Neither is Ed, apparently, because he doesn't get it either. Mike has picked up a bottle of temporary dye, and asks the barber about it. Mike turns to Ed, and offers him ten bucks. Cut to Ed walking out of the barber shop, sporting Manic Panic red hair, and looking pissed off.
Jackass comes into Carol's classroom and asks if she could spare a moment to chat in her free period. They go for a stroll. It totally looks like fall instead of winter there. Jackass tells an anecdote about how he shaves with a cheap plastic razor. He once had a really nice one, but he lost it, so now he uses the cheap ones and throws them away. Carol explains that she gets the metaphor but finds it "discomfiting." Also, did he just call her cheap and plastic? It's like in When Harry Met Sally, when Sally yells out, "Who is the dog in this scenario? Who is the dog? Me! I'm the dog." Jackass says that guys like him don't want the expensive razor because they might lose it. Carol points out that he really means "former alcoholics," and wonder when he's going to stop hiding behind that label, because bringing a date to the party was just "crappy behavior." Jackass muses that there is no such thing as a former alcoholic, and that he's always sure that he's going to lose everything again, so he wants everything to be disposable: razors, jobs, girlfriends. Jackass sighs and says he brought the date because he was trying to make Carol disposable. Carol starts to tell him off again, but Jackass interrupts to say that he tried to make her disposable, but he couldn't, because he likes her and wants to be with her. So he asks her to forgive him and gives her a present. Carol says she's always wanted a gold-plated razor. Jackass says that it's not for her and walks off. She fell for that? I'm sorry, but I would have told him to work out his issues on his own first, and then come see me when he was ready to see me as something more than an experiment in stability. Jackass. Plus, how rude is it to give her a present and then keep it for himself?