Ed and Molly eat at the diner. Ed asks how things are going with her and Jim. Hey, remember Jim? I'm glad they acknowledged him. Molly lies that things are going terrible, and then admits that things are going well, but he's off traveling and selling. Ed segues into talking about Carol and Jackass. Molly shuts up, because she thinks Ed is trying to trick her. Ed realizes that there's more to the story than what Carol is telling him. Ed reassures her that it's no big deal. Molly is worried that Carol will kill her. Ed keeps saying that it's no big deal, but his eyes say that it is.
Warren and Mark walk into a restaurant. Mark suggests that Warren change his name to Maurice for some reason, because it's cooler. Warren asks the guy at the podium for "a favor, a chooch." Warren keeps calling the guy Colonel as he explains that he's bringing a date in the next night. The guy is confused until Mark clarifies that Warren needs a good table. Warren points out the table that he wants. The guy won't give it up, because it's "a four-top" and there will only be two of them. Warren tries to get his "twenty friends" to convince the guy, and then feels the need to explain that he's slipping the guy a twenty-dollar bill. The guy walks away, because it's ridiculous. Plus, the place has a salad bar. Do they even take reservations? How fancy of a restaurant could it be? Warren keeps talking about how special the night will be, and how he has a music CD prepared for them to play. Mark reminds Warren that he wanted the chef to come to their table and ask if everything is okay. The guy explains that his restaurant "isn't that kind of place," and offers to slide them some extra stuffed potato skins. Hee! Warren begs and whines, and finally the guy agrees to see what he can do, because he remembers his own first date. Warren is pleased, and takes the guy's name, which is Roger.
Ed and Mike have a discussion at the bowling alley. Ed paces and says that things are starting to happen between Carol and Jackass. Mike suggests that Ed just grab Carol and kiss her. Yeah, Mike! Ed, listen to him! Ed worries that his moment with Carol has passed. Mike opines that moments return. Ed is more upset that Carol felt the need to lie to him. Big Pussy walks in and they all admire the drape of his suit. Ed isn't really on board with this plan, but goes along.
The three men enter the Smiling Goat. Big Pussy is a little overwhelmed, and says that he needs to "get [his] sea legs back." Mike enthusiastically suggests that Big Pussy pretend that Mike is a woman and role play a conversation. Big Pussy gets the best line of the night: "This ain't Sleepless in Seattle, Chachi. Now, step aside and let the starving man have at the buffet." Ed thinks this is wrong. Mike is impressed that Big Pussy said "boo-fay."