Hey, loyal Ed recap readers. It's Kim. I'm just filling in for Uncle Bob because of his stupid television station, which is pre-empting the show for sports-related reasons. So, be kind and gentle. You know, like Uncle Bob would. Heh.

Previously on Ed: Carol and Jackass did it. Carol didn't tell Ed about it. Jackass brought a date to the Stuckey Bowl Christmas party, which pissed Carol off, and Carol realized that she was wrong about Jackass being a good guy. You think? Wow, I bet that means Carol has sworn off Jackass for good! Except that I've watched television before, so I know that won't happen.

Carol and Ed eat breakfast at the diner. Carol has ordered something called the Lumberjack Breakfast, which I refuse to believe Carol would eat. I admire the conceit that a pretty thin girl could eat eggs, bacon, sausage, and other manner of artery-clogging fare without blimping up or falling over dead, but you know what? Not that true. It does, however, give Ed a chance to say that he admires a girl who eats a lot. I don't really want to get into the whole politics of weight on this show, which is confusing at best, so I'll drop it. Anyway, Ed takes the opportunity to needle Carol about what Jackass eats for breakfast (when the answer is clearly, "Carol's self-esteem"). Carol claims that she wouldn't know. Ed can't believe that she wouldn't know what her boyfriend likes for breakfast. Carol says, "Dennis Martino is not my boyfriend." Ed recites the line with her in a high-pitched voice. Ed seems to be getting a big kick out of this; Carol, not so much. Ed claims that he's perceptive. Carol suddenly has laryngitis, and her voice is all scratchy. Carol claims that nothing has happened between her and Jackass. Ed says that it's his mistake, and then there is an Awkward Pause so that we know that neither of them really believes that.

Phil and Kenny are in the bowling alley. Phil's hair looks weird...er than usual, like a wig or something. Anyway, Phil gives Kenny crap about his zucchini-chopping technique. Kenny says that he's "julienneing the son of a bitch," but Phil claims that Kenny is actually chopping. Phil grabs Kenny's hand to show him the proper technique, and Kenny advises Phil to stop touching him. Just before a full-on brawl breaks out, Ed walks in and asks what's up. Phil explains that they are inventing a new food, and relates the tale of the invention of the Buffalo wing at the Anchor Bar. Phil and Kenny want to invent a legendary food that will put Stuckeyville on the map. Ed chuckles and asks what they've got. After a drum roll, Kenny and Phil unveil the "strawberry tallcake," which actually looks pretty good. Ed is not impressed. Also, if you're going to invent a food that will be known worldwide, you might want to pick something that's readily available in fresh quantities year-round. Like, not strawberries.