Back in the bowling alley, it's wheels on the pavement time for Chuck. Phil tells Chuck to pick out a female in the bowling alley, and try out everything that he's learned from Phil Stubbs Love-Atorium. Chuck picks out a woman, but before Phil allows him to approach her, he wants to check out Chuck's facial expressions. Phil calls out emotions: "sad," "cool," "impressed," etc., and Chuck goes from emotion to emotion beautifully. He does manage to screw up "Swedish." Phil reminds him to elongate the face to achieve "Swedish," and Chuck's ready to go. One more thing: Phil's ultimate pick-up line. He gives it to Chuck on a piece of paper. Chuck asks if Phil's serious, and Phil assures him that line would get him more tail than a thousand pesetas in a Venezuelan whorehouse. I'm not sure if I spelled "pesetas" or "Venezuelan" correct, so bear with my uncultured ass. ["It's okay -- I'm on it." -- Wing Chun] Chuck approaches the woman as she's walking away from her bowling team, hands her a jacket, and says, "I own a speedboat." The woman says, "What?" and Chuck gives her his "Super Cute" facial expression, which looks like his nuts have just been hooked up to a car battery. She says, "Excuse me," and walks away, leaving Chuck looking like an even bigger loser than he actually is. Shirley takes perverse enjoyment in the whole scenario. Gee, Ed fans -- I wonder why?
Carol's leaving a coffee shop when Ed approaches her on the street. It is amazing how many times that has happened on the show. Ed must have Carol Radar or something -- he's always walking up to her on the street. Ed tells Carol that he can't make the big pathetic loser Valentine's Day party because Bonnie wants him to come over to her house, and since he's already had sex with Bonnie and never had a threesome with Carol and Molly, logic dictates that he'd have a much better chance of nailing Bonnie then plugging Carol and Molly full of cheap vodka and getting them to do a naked Hokey Pokey in the shower stall with him. He doesn't actually say this, but it was implied. At least, in my sex-deprived mind, it was implied. Actually, Ed says that he has to work, but then changes his mind and says that it's not work: he's going to Bonnie's. Carol thinks that Ed has some sick need to tell her everything that's going on in his dating life. Carol tells Ed that she doesn't care. They're friends. That's it. He doesn't have to lie to her, because she doesn't care. She walks away, leaving Ed to say "I'm sorry" to nobody in particular.