Back at City Hall, the jury has reached a verdict in the case of Dick Knight versus Rev. Carver. We at home are asked to suspend any belief in time and space that we may have previously entertained, because Bonnie asked Ed to have Valentine's dinner with her before Ed even asked Rev. Carver to take this whole mess to court. The entire selection of the jury, selection of attorneys, judges, etc. must have been done in about thirty seconds, because the jury has already reached a decision and Ed still has to have his dinner with Bonnie.
Rev. Carver gets to keep his job. Dick Knight's an ass. Carver gets to go back to preaching to a handful of people immediately. The world spins.
Carol's walking to school when Ed runs up yet again. Ed's saying that he feels really guilty about boinking Bonnie when he moved to Stuckeyville and bought a bowling alley so that he could be ramming Carol with his spoot stick. Carol says that their friendship is complicated. She says that they're not ready for each other, but...she's jealous. Ed says that's normal. She says it's crazy. She doesn't want him right now, but she doesn't want him dating others either. Gosh, Carol. You want to have your cake and eat it too. Gee whiz, Carol. Gee whiz Mighty Big TVheads. Can you now see why I've been on this woman's case for several months?! Because she's a wishy-washy hot-assed woman! She asks whether they will always be friends, and Ed does her one better: even if they end up marrying others, they should agree to meet once a week to do it (meaning sex). Maybe I'm a softie at heart, but that sounds like a damned good arrangement to ol' Uncle Bob, kiddies. Carol says that Ed's strange. Ed says he's strange but intriguing. Carol opts for just strange.
At Bonnie's house (the real portal to Hell, mind you), she's apologizing for treating Ed like shit lately. She tells Ed that he's the first guy she's boned since she was stood up at the altar. Ed admits that she's the first woman who's ridden him naked like a mechanical bull since his wife was caught pulling a train on the U.S. Postal Service. Gosh -- in the field of sexual dynamics, they're even. She asks about Carol, and he says that they're just friends. Bonnie says that she can tell they're not "just" friends. Ed says that they have a complicated relationship. He asks what they do now, and she says that they need to start "checking all emotional baggage at the door," which means porking with reckless abandon and not expecting to talk to each other the next day. They start macking like a couple of gangsta lovers.