Ed
Ed

Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: C- | 544 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Rumors Of Ed's Demise Are Hardly Exaggerated

Meanwhile, Mike brings a poster into his waiting room and marks the occasion of his hanging the first poster in the waiting room. I think Mike's taking this all a little too seriously. A suave gentleman walks in and introduces himself as Jack Foster. He says that knowledge is his business, and that he's an "opener." I wish he'd open Nancy's legs myself, and take this show to a late-night Cinemax type of atmosphere, but who am I to complain? Jack opens new businesses -- everything from radio stations to shopping malls; he coordinates the publicity that a new business oh so desperately needs. He promises Mike that, with his help, he can get this place jumping like Mardi Gras. This is such a coincidence, because I was just thinking the other day that a good name for a bar band who played party rock and roll would be Marty Graw. Marty Graw, Mardi Gras....get it?! I mean...hellooo?! Is that a mental shout-out or what? Anyway, Mike says that he doesn't need Jack's opening techniques, and that sort of nonsense is considered voodoo and is the work of the debbil. Jack insists that Mike desperately needs Jack Foster Consulting and that Mike will be the medical equivalent of New Coke if he doesn't step up to the plate and accept Jack's help. Mike still declines, so Jack decides to work on Nancy, and not the way I wish he would. He asks Nancy if she has the common sense to see that this medical practice desperately needs Jack's assistance. Nancy pulls a Tammy Wynette and stands by her man, saying that whatever Mike wants, he gets. Jack hisses and recoils and says that when these two get their shit together, they should give him a call.

At the Smiling Goat, Nancy's whining to Molly that she doesn't see Mike's practice flying anytime soon. So much for standing by her man. She says that they've gone into debt so that Mike can follow his dreams and have his own practice where he doesn't have to wallow in Dr. Jerome's malarkey day in and day out. Molly tells Nancy not to worry, and that she has money if they need it...she's got $212 stashed away in a money market account. Nancy screams that $212 wouldn't buy a fucking stethoscope and starts beating Molly around her big dumb puffy head with a ball peen hammer. While Molly cowers in a corner as Nancy viciously lands blow after blow on her cranium, Mike and Ed are sitting at the bar. Ed brings up the fact that Jackass is in Minnesota on a job interview, and Mike chimes in that there's still some sexual spark between Ed and Carol. Ed blows off this statement just as he has for the last thirty-plus episodes, and changes the subject to the fact that his boyhood mentor had completely flipped his lid and is now flipping coins and spinning the wheel of justice in order to decide cases. Carol walks on into the party like she was walking on to a yacht and says that the Judge humiliated her by making her sing "Bad Bad Leroy Brown" in front of a crowded courtroom. Mike squeals and says how much he loves that song; he then graces us all with his feeble rendition of the tune, to a mixed response. Ed says that he's going to go see the judge and get things taken care of, because the judge "loves" Ed. Mike keeps singing.

Ed

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