Ed
Wheel Of Justice

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Uncle Bob: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Rumors Of Ed's Demise Are Hardly Exaggerated

At lunch, Carol's prattling on to Ed and Molly about receiving a speeding ticket and lamenting the fact that she has to go before Judge Travis Donnelly. Ed perks up and says that Donnelly was his boyhood idol, and that Ed would spend many days of his high-school life going to the courtroom to watch the judge in action. In fact, it was Judge Donnelly who inspired Ed to become a lawyer. Molly coughs out "nerd" in Ed's direction, which Ed declares "hiiii-larious!" Ed asks Molly what she used to do in high school, and she says she enjoyed making castles out of Twinkies and then pretending she was a giant castle eating monster as she tumbled face first into the castle and then scarfed the delicious cream-filled treats until she passed out from exhaustion. Ed and Carol stare at her for a second before they get back on the subject of Carol, Carol, Carol. Ed tells Carol to go plead her case and tell her side of the story to Ed's former mentor. Carol says she's going to do that, and try to get out of paying the $300 fine. My God. Her fine costs more than my car.

Mike and Nancy are positively bubbly as workers are moving brand-new equipment into Mike's new medical practice. He's pointing out everything that's new as he picks up a virgin stethoscope to check out Evil Baby Sarah's heartbeat. He listens to it for a second and hears the demons inside her soul screaming at him to abide by Satan's law. Mike smiles nervously, backs away from the seemingly innocent baby, and says that everything sounds fine; Nancy believes every word. As a man wheels a blood pressure machine past them, Mike cheerfully chirps that that machine is his blood pressure machine. The guy congratulates Mike, and the scene ends because the writers couldn't think of a decent payoff for it, which quickly becomes the general feeling of the whole episode.

In the courtroom, Judge Donnelly calls Carol to the bench to plead her case. She was apparently going 53 in a 40 mph zone. Carol pleads not guilty. To the speeding...not to her lack of common sense. She then starts babbling that she wasn't going that fast and that she's never gotten a ticket before and she's talking way too fast for my chubby little hand to write it all down. But trust me...if it was coming out of Carol's mouth, it wasn't important. The judge asks her to choose, heads or tails. She looks flabbergasted as he explains that he's about to flip a coin to determine her fate. Carol stammers and doesn't pick a side, so he tells her he'll make it easy for her: heads she's guilty, tails she's not. He flips the coin and it's heads...guilty. It's now time to spin the wheel of justice. The wheel is unveiled, and the bailiff is ordered to spin it. The wheel is spun as Carol sweats out the punishment. Ahhh...stand on one leg and sing "Bad Bad Leroy Brown." Carol says she can't sing. The judge orders Carol to sing or spend the night in jail. She sings...if you can call it singing. She sounds more like a border collie getting its throat slit, but it amuses the Judge and gets her out of spending the evening with a large, handsome woman named Tommy, so it's probably worth it in the long run.

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Ed

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