Ed
Wheel Of Justice

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Uncle Bob: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Rumors Of Ed's Demise Are Hardly Exaggerated

Walking through the courthouse, Ed's telling Carol what a legend in the law Judge Donnelly is. They walk into Donnelly's courtroom, and the judge has some poor sap spinning the Wheel of Justice. Ed completely flips out and asks what the judge is doing. The judge tells Ed to be quiet. The wheel lands on fifty hours of community service, and Ed goes apeshit. Ed starts telling the judge that he cannot do this, and the judge orders Ed to be quiet or the judge will be held in contempt of court. Ed blurts out another word, and the judge pulls out his Coin of Justice and tells Ed that if it lands on heads, Ed and Carol will spend the night in jail; tails and they get to leave the courtroom. The coin comes up heads, and the Judge informs them that they'll be spending the night in jail because the Wheel of Justice demands it, even though he just flipped a coin and didn't spin the wheel. I think the ol' judge has a screw or two loose. I mean, I'm no certfied psychiatrist, but I think I know a looney bird when I see one.

One thing I've learned about Ed: when people flip out and start acting crazy, they are either dying or someone in their immediate family has been struck by tragedy. And when a lover of Ed or Carol gets a job interview out of state, they inevitably get the job and move away, leaving the door wide open for Ed and Carol to do the hanky panky naked, which they won't because none of the writers on the show want to take the chance of them having monkey sex and being the guy known as the idiot who completely ruined the show.

Sitting on the floor of their jail cell, Carol is mocking Ed, saying really sarcastically, "I'll talk to the judge...the judge LOVES me...he's a legend...I watched him in high school." Ed threatens to pop her a good one in the eye and she clams up like a smart jailbird bitch oughta. Carol's phone rings, and it's Jackass. ["She's allowed to keep her personal effects in jail? And men and women are allowed to share the same cells? How odd." -- Wing Chun] Ed wearily tells Carol to call Jackass Denny. She tells Jackass that she's in jail, and their conversation starts breaking up. Carol finally gives up talking to Jackass, and hangs up the phone. She asks Ed what they're going to do now, and Ed says that since they were denied bail, they just have to sit there all night until the morning comes. They sit there in silence before Carol finally coughs to break the silence.

At Mike's office, Carmella is snoring, and Nancy and Mike look completely bored out of their skulls. Mike asks Carmella to hand him the phone, waking her up. She apologizes for falling asleep and says that she had way too many pancakes for breakfast. She neglects to mention they were vodka-soaked pancakes. Mike calls Jack Foster and says he's ready to schedule an interview. Jack squeals and races over to the practice, gleeful that he's finally hooked another idiot into hiring him.

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Ed

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