Ed
Ed

Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: C | 359 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
A Big Mac, Large Order of Fries and a Big Ol' Can of Whoop Ass, Please

In the hallway at school, Warren catches up to Donna and proceeds to ask her out; it takes him about thirty minutes to cough it up. She agrees to go out with him, and he confirms that she understands that when he says "go out," he means on a date, not just going out as friends. She's clear on that. He says that Mark said that his "window" was closed, but he's glad to find out it's not. She says she'll see him Saturday night, and walks away. Warren is so giddy, he walks away in the wrong direction.

Commercials. Oh! A live surprise! Some lady gave up her son thirty-three years ago for adoption and she's about to see him for the first time at an airport! Here's the big surprise...her son now has a child of his own! Mother sheds tears, son looks uncomfortable, baby looks bored.

Back in court, Steve is being charged with violating his restraining order. Steve says that Jamie signed the contract, and that no matter how much he protests, Jamie wanted Steve to keep pushing him. Jamie knew that his will would weaken and that he would need Steve to stay on his fat ass. Ed says that even though he signed the contract, Jamie never thought Steve would go this far. Public humiliation, destruction of property...surely there must be a law preventing these types of actions. The judge says they'll start the trial tomorrow in the case of The Fat Guy vs. His Brother.

In the Stuckeyville Pharmacy, Warren, Mark, and Gavin are doing some shopping for Warren's big date that evening. Warren's debating over shaving gels when Mark throws a box of condoms into his basket. Warren freaks out and tells Mark that there's no need for condoms; they're only going to the movies. Mark doesn't listen, and reminds Warren that these are the condoms that actor Jeff Goldblum uses...he read it himself in Esquire. Jeff Goldblum. The guy's got a fairly large nose, big feet...something tells me that Warren couldn't fill Jeff Goldblum's condoms. Call it a hunch. Warren takes the basket to the counter, and the lady pulls out all the items and lines them up on the counter, including the condoms. She looks at them, grabs the store microphone, and says "I need a price check over here..." Warren practically swallows his tongue, saying "No! NO!" Then the lady finishes her sentence: "How much is the Ultra-Gel Shaving Gel?" Once again, Mark gets a big kick out of Warren's misfortunes. Y'know...for a big-assed virgin, Mark sure is tallying up the chuckles at Warren's expense. Yo, Marko Polo...until you reach the day where you can even find your pecker buried in that soft mountain of crotch flesh, I'd lay off the Ches. He's obviously getting more pseudo-tail than your fat ass could hope for right now.

Ed

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