Window Of Opportunity

Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: C- | Grade It Now!
A Big Mac, Large Order of Fries and a Big Ol' Can of Whoop Ass, Please

At the alley, the wedding has begun when we hear, "Hold on! Hold on!" Ed shows up dressed as Colonel Sanders, saying you can't have a wedding without a best man. He leans over to the couple and says, "If you two screw this marriage up, I'll have to hunt you down and kill you." Barbara says, "We won't," and Ed says he knows they won't.

Warren walks Donna to her front door, and she says she had a great time. He says, "I did too. Any date that involves the Jaws of Life can't be all that bad. Unless you were in a car accident." Donna asks why he never kissed her on the hill weeks ago, and he says that he was looking for a signal...any signal. Donna says, "You just needed a signal?" Warren starts babbling about windows of opportunity closing as Donna slowly moves closer to him. He's still chattering nervously as she tells him to stop talking, leans in, and gives Warren his first adult kiss. They stop; she says, "Goodnight" and goes inside. Warren stands there for a second and begins to walk away slowly, this time with a little bit of confidence in his step. Tony Bennett starts singing "Call Me Irresponsible" as our musical montage of the week begins.

Back at the alley, the wedding concludes and balloons drop out of the ceiling. The bride tosses her garter and Kenny catches it, like the jungle stud we always knew he could be. Mike gives a toast to the happy couple, and then smears cake all over his face. Ed is laughing uproariously and hands Mike a $10 bill. Ed gives the young couple his lucky ball and they act like it's a deed to some prme real estate. Phil is serving people at the Manwich bar and everyone is dancing in the alley. Ed and Carol are dancing and they look at the young lovers and then at each other with -- dare I say it? -- sparks in their eyes.

The montage ends, and we're now at the alley after everyone's left, save for Carol and Ed. Carol seems giddy from champagne and is saying that she thinks they need to throw more marriages at the bowling alley. Ed doesn't think so. He's kinda lightened up on the whole wedding situation now that it's over, and Carol asks if he's starting to believe in fate. He says he's always believed in fate. Then, to prove it, he picks up a ball and says, "If I bowl a strike, I'm asking you to marry me." Carol moves to the edge of her seat. Ed rolls the ball and knocks down seven pins, thus leaving three. Carol looks dejected and happy at the same time. Ed walks back and grabs another ball, and saying that if he rolls a spare, he gets one night of unbridled lovemaking. He rolls the ball and gets a spare. Carol tells him to dream on, and they start fighting playfully. Ed says that it was fate that he rolled that spare, and that they have to have sex. He doesn't want to have sex, but you don't "mess with the pin Gods" in these kinds of situations. Carol's refusing, and Ed's saying she can't refuse as the show ends.

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