Ed
Ed

Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: C+ | 447 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Your Life Is Now

At school, Carol's confiding in Molly that Troy called and left a message wanting to see her. Molly asks if she's called him back, and Carol says she hasn't. Molly tells Carol to call him back. Carol says that he has a good life now, and that she shouldn't interfere. Molly insists that Carol at least look into meeting him again. Molly seems desperate to help Carol find a new boyfriend so she can horn in on Ed, if you ask me.But you didn't ask me. Not one single email presenting that theory has filtered my way. You people...you don't love me like I thought you did.

Out in the school's hallways, a couple of jocks surround Jessica, telling her jokes. Warren is standing at his locker a few feet away when he decides that now is the best time to start hitting on Jessica. Oh yeah, Mr. Timing-Is-Everything. Wait until she's in her element and surrounded by guys who could extract your tonsils with their bare hands. That's real intelligent, Sir Screws-Up-A-Lot. Warren waits for the punchline of the jock's joke and lets out an exaggerated laugh as he slinks over to their intimate little circle, finally saying hi to Jessica. He introduces himself as Warren Cheswick, adding that everyone just calls him "Ches." One of the jocks says, "No, they don't," and Warren corrects him, saying that he's in limited release with the nickname at the present time, but he's about to go nationwide with it in a few weeks. Warren then steers the conversation, ever so smoothly, to Jessica's latest poetic opus "Soul Dragon." "I liked your poem 'Soul Dragon,'" he says. "He's checking out your rack," one of the jocks tells Jessica. Jessica blushes as Warren begins to crumble. "No, I'm not," Warren says, defending himself. But it's too late. The jocks begin threatening Warren and tell him to quit checking out Jessica's rack. Jessica's rack stands firm in its decision to remain perky. Warren is humiliated beyond belief.

Back at the bowling alley, Phil is still reeling from the sheer genius of the "Appliance Giveaway" scam and offers Ed a sequel to the scam: he wants to sneak into the appliance store one evening, pour Spanish Fly into the water coolers, and watch the salesmen do each other. Ed declines to participate in "El Screw Around-o with Tucker-o Appliances-o II: Return of the Appliance Giveaway Scam." If I were Ed's lawyer, that's the tactic I would have strongly suggested as well.

Speaking of Ed's lawyers, as Ed and Phil discuss the merits of continuously screwing with Tucker's, a gentleman walks in and hands Ed a subpoena. He's being sued by Tucker's for $4,600, the amount of revenue the store lost for a day of business. This thickens the plot somewhat. If you're cooking chili, add cornstarch to the mix. This thickens the pot somewhat.

Ed

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