Your Life Is Now

Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: C | Grade It Now!
Your Life Is Now

You don't know me, but I'm your Uncle. Your long-lost Uncle Bob. All this time, I've been ghost-writing the Ed recaps...hereafter to be known only as B. F'n. P. B. F'n. P. was recently involved in a bizarre accident while playing Marco Polo in his back-yard pool with himself. He's recovering well and sends his regards to all those who worried about him.

Yeah. That's the ticket.

Sooo...to make a long recap shorter...let's go ahead and kick this puppy in the ribs.

Oh...by the way...I'm writing this recap a week later than the show actually aired, due to holidays and all, so details may be a little sketchy here. This will not be common practice in my recaps, and...oh hell...who am I kidding?! I make up 90% of this crap. Get over it, dear reader.

The show begins with the recap of what the show's all about. I wrote a poem about the recaps which I may include in this recap later on, space permitting. I'm sure you'll like it and will probably say things like, "That Uncle Bob...man...whatta poet." Yeah...I just bet you'll say it.

(That was sarcasm...which...oddly enough...is also my middle name. "Sarcasm," that is.)

So we get past the recap, and the show begins in Ed's living room. Time-lapse videography is trying to tell us that Ed is sitting around waiting for something or somebody. Immediately, the show has kicked off with some intrigue. I'm intrigued, anyway. Ed exercises, tries to take a nap, bounces a basketball, etc. Finally, he picks up the phone and calls Tucker's Appliance to ask where the refrigerator that was supposed to be delivered earlier that day could be. The voice on the line says that he'll have the refrigerator by 4 PM. Ed says that will be hard to do since it's already 4:36 PM. The driver promises that it will be there by 5 PM at the latest. This soothes Ed to the point where he feels comfortable hanging up the phone.

Meanwhile, Molly is shown catching up to Carol with the giddiness of a schoolgirl after her first kiss. "Guess who's coming to town?" she gushes Carol's way. "Corey Feldman," Carol answers. "No...Corey Haim," Carol adds quickly, changing her guess. Molly shoots down both answers and says that the person coming to town is none other than Troy McCallum, Carol's high-school sweetheart. On an excitement scale from 1 to 10, Carol would rank a 2 on the outside, but a 12 on the inside, baybee. Troy's coming to town as part of the Alumni Holiday Dinner for football players. Molly cannot fathom why Carol isn't soaking her panties over this one, and Carol reminds Molly that Troy dumped her their senior year, and in a very ugly way at that.

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