Ed
Your Life Is Now

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Uncle Bob: C | Grade It Now!
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Your Life Is Now

We flash back to Ed's apartment. By now, it's dark. Ed's still sitting there patiently waiting for his refrigerator.

Opening credits roll. I open my bag of pork rinds and commence chomping merrily.

Back from commercials, we find ourselves in Carol's class as she's discussing the poet Chaucer. Warren (the nerd who has been harboring a crush on Carol all these weeks) has apparently found a new female form to visualize as he rubs up against his bedpost at night. He's staring pie-eyed at a hot little number next to him who is oblivious to his gawking. The bell rings, snapping Warren out of his trance.

As the students file out, Warren makes awkward small talk with Carol about the two of them being on the same planning committee for an upcoming dance. Carol keeps that icy-teacher approach intact while conversing with the Warrenster when out of the blue, Warren hands her a box. He's bought Carol a locket, which is not the brightest idea the boy has ever had. Carol says that she can't accept a locket from a student, and Warren tells her to look inside the locket. Inside are some really goofy pictures of Warren. Warren falls to his knees and begins reciting a poem by e.e. cummings.Carol tells Warren that they have to talk. Warren says, "Whoa, you're breaking up with me?" Carol, once again, tries to explain to the simpleton that they are teacher and pupil, not exactly the best relationship to base a love affair on. Warren notes that this is how it ends...not with a bang, but a whimper. Deep inside, I believe that Warren has orchestrated this whole event so that he can actually be "broken up" with Carol, leaving him free to date this new gal.

Meanwhile, Ed's at Tucker's Appliances, demanding to speak to the manager. The salesman would like to know Ed's beef. Ed explains that he ordered a refrigerator, sat at home all day waiting on it, only to be stiffed at the end of the day with no refrigerator. The salesman says that the manager is busy eating breakfast. Ed says he doesn't care if he's eating lobster omelettes...he wants to speak to the manager now. Okay...I've never seen Ed this angry. I bet he might even frown here in a minute.

Meanwhile, Molly is asking Carol if she's excited about seeing Troy McCallum again. "Aren't you curious to see how he turned out?" she asks. Carol once again reminds Molly that Troy McCallum was pig smegma and that he treated her horribly. He took her to the pond one evening and told her that he thought he had outgrown her. Then, he started dating her best friend two days later. But after ten years, she's pretty much gotten over it. Yeah. She's over it. That's it. Oh yeah. Over it, baby. She never gives the guy a moment's thought anymore. Yep. That is definitely the ticket.

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