At Nancy and Mike's house, Ed and Nancy are making out on the couch. Or at least pretending to make out. Mike walks in, carrying some boxes, and sets them down. Ed and Nancy pretend that they were surprised, and protest that it's not what it looks like. Mike says that they never get tired of that joke, and Ed and Nancy agree that they don't. Plus, Ed points out, if they ever do hook up, Mike will think they're kidding. Mike says that if Ed can get Nancy to have sex, more power to him. What's with all the jokes about Nancy being frigid this week? Ed says that they have the green light, and he and Nancy will be back downstairs in about an hour. Nancy thinks it'll be more like forty-five seconds. Mike ends the fun by telling them to look at what he found. Carol walks in, having just visiting the Parker family, who are all broken up. Carol talks about how nice Larry's widow is, and how cute his son is. Ed hands her some pictures of a teenaged Mike and Ed. Nancy shows one particularly geeky one. Mike holds up a picture of high school Nancy dressed all slutty. Oh, poor Uncle Bob, missing this episode. Mike says she looks hot. Ed tells the married people to settle down. The whole "married people can't be sexual" vibe this week is bugging me.
At the high school, Molly is teaching night classes. Phil walks into the classroom. Molly asks what he's doing there. Phil says that he refuses to call her "Molls." Molly asks again what he's doing there. Phil says that he needs a high-school diploma. He left school after the tenth grade because "certain business opportunities arose." Phil wants to know how quickly he can get his diploma, but Molly says she won't just give him a diploma. Phil offers to get her a flat-screen television so that she can have "SurroundSound shooting out [her] ass." Molly appreciates that "lovely offer," but explains that Phil has to take the class to get a diploma. Phil thinks that he gets it -- it's all about appearances. He takes a seat and compliments someone's three-ring binder.