Youth Bandits

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Youth Bandits

In the classroom, Molly passes out tests and tells her students to begin. Phil puts his arm around his test to prevent copying, and starts writing.

Ed and Mike go to the Parker house and meet Larry's widow, Rita. They express their condolences. She thanks them. They give her the old pictures. She looks at them and says that some of Larry's friends are going to speak at the funeral, and that they can, too, if they want to. Ed says that he hadn't spoken to Larry in a long time. Rita understands and excuses herself to get them drinks.

Warren and Jessica walk together outside the school. Warren has his arm around her. Warren says, apropos of nothing, "Is it just me, or is Ron Howard incapable of making a bad film?" Hello? Far and Away? Jessica interrupts to say that she's really enjoyed getting to know Warren, and that he's really special. Uh oh. She doesn't want to lead him on. Warren senses what's coming. Jessica says that she needs some time alone. Warren says, "A...lone. As in sans Warren Cheswick." Jessica confirms it. Warren posits that this has something to do with her womanly cycle. Warren is really not ready to interact with the opposite sex. Or anyone, for that matter. Jessica explains that when she's with someone, she becomes all about that person, and she needs to get to know herself. Warren protests that she does know herself. Jessica argues that she doesn't. Warren yells, "You do! You know yourself so well." Jessica tells him to stop. Warren collects himself and asks how long this is going to take. Upset, Jessica says that she doesn't know. Warren says that when it's over, they'll get back together. Jessica can't promise that. Warren can't believe this is it. Jessica asks if he forgives her. Don't do it, Warren! Warren says he will forgive her under one condition: she has to let him make love to her. Jessica starts to walk away. Warren begs that it will only take fifteen minutes, or ten minutes, tops. Jessica continues to walk away. Warren crouches down, a broken man.

Mike and Ed are still at the Parker house. Ed can't believe that this is Larry Parker's house. Ed calls Mike's attention to Larry's son. Mike says that the kid looks just like his father. The kid, Ryan, comes over and offers them some clam dip and drinks. As Ryan walks away, Ed turns and watches him. Later, Ed stares at a picture of Larry and Ryan on the mantel. Mike walks up and asks if Ed is okay. Ed says that he is.

Warren sits on the stairs at school, disconsolate. Carol walks up and asks if she can join him, or if he still hates her for calling his dad. Warren says that he doesn't hate her, because she did what she had to do. Carol sits down and says that it's obvious that Warren is having woman trouble. Warren admits that Jessica dumped him after only a week. Carol jovially starts to say that she's not big on saying "I told you so." She claps Warren on the shoulder, and he winces in pain. Carol laughs. She's kind of a big jerk. Warren asks if she's talking about his tattoo, and Carol says she is sure that Warren is regretting it now. Warren slowly says that he's actually not. Carol is surprised. Warren explains that for "one brief window in time, the laws of the whole universe just bent back on themselves, and Warren Cheswick was with Jessica Martell." Warren concludes that he knew it wouldn't last, but that as long as he has the tattoo, he'll always have that one perfect night. Then, Warren sheepishly admits that he'll only have it until Saturday, when his father is making him get it removed via laser.

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