A Landmark Story

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: A- | 6 USERS: A
Salieri's Revenge

Holmes pulls out the body of Mr. Van Der Hoff, which is not scheduled for embalming until morning. How convenient! He turns on the overhead light and starts poking at the body. Watson observes his pacemaker scar. Holmes says there are no defensive wounds. But there were four bruises on each palm, suggesting he was making tight fists. Watson says that happens with people who are struck by lightning or hit the third rail and it's not consistent with a heart attack. Holmes says it's time to autopsy him! Watson thinks they'll get in trouble, and Holmes figures they'll just sew him up again by morning, or the mortuary will think there was a paperwork problem or something. She won't do it, so Holmes starts. And she can't stand how bad he is at it, so she takes the scalpel and cuts a lovely curve through the chest. Holmes seems to enjoy it. He tries to compliment her skill and she snaps that they're not having a moment. The cadaver looks a lot like a cadaver that's been cut open, so somebody did a good job here.

With no saw or rib-spreader, Watson has to poke around outside the rib cage. She thinks it's weird that the capillaries have bubbles. It's like the blood boiled, which is definitely not common in a heart attack. Or anything else, really. See how much easier it would have been if F. Murray had just switched the pacemaker off? Or had it go really fast? Electrocuting the heart just seems like it's asking to leave evidence.

Brownstone. Holmes marvels at the cleverness of the method and Watson washes her hands. She should have done that at the funeral home. I guarantee they have sanitation facilities. Holmes says the pacemaker was used as a weapon. Watson thinks it could have been an accident. Holmes says the maker of the pacemaker has just announced an unhackable pacemaker which kind of suggests a hackable version. Yeah, that's not great marketing. "Our new pacemaker never bursts into flames! And there's a small discount on our older models!" So now that Holmes is convinced it was murder (which the audience knew since the first scene, draining much of the suspense from the show thus far), it's time to figure out who did it.

Holmes listens to Bix Beiderbecke and lights a fire under a Ken doll in the fireplace. Watson would like to know what the heck is going on Holmes answers, "I'm in a dispute with a theologist about Galileo. How much do you know about Prohibition?" What? Now Holmes is talking about speakeasies. It seems that Van Der Hoff was on a council in charge of determining landmark status for the Taggart Speakeasy Museum, an old grocery with a speakeasy in the back. The owners want it de-landmarked so they can develop the property for huge profits and have applied three times. Each time they've applied, the council member that changed his or her vote got some remodeling done by Robert Bauman. He normally handles skyscrapers but was doing kitchens, which suggests he was bribing them with personal design work. The vote was one council member short, and Van Der Hoff changed his vote just before dying. Watson calls him "Bleached-teeth" and everyone's attention turns to Robert Bauman.

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