We Are Everyone

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: A- | 60 USERS: A
Hack the Planet!

Kleinfelter has a blog called "Kleinfeltarianism," which prompts Holmes to call Ayn Rand "Philosopher-in-chief to the intellectually bankrupt." Interesting; I would have thought Holmes would be more into Rand's philosophy. If you know what I mean. (I mean he's a selfish jerk). Watson wonders what they're planning to do when they find Kleinfelter, since some find him a hero for leaking that information. Holmes wants to at least protect him from Redding. He only worked with one journalist: Celia Carroll. Let's meet her!

She's at her newspaper, the Village Dispatch. She tells them what she's told everything else. She hasn't heard from him, and his plan was to leave the country before he had to release the information early. Holmes thinks he has a crush on her, because she matches his description of his dream girl: "You're bespectacled, you're lean, and yet possessed of an alluring curve of flank." Heh. She shakes that off and says she never got any whiff of that the few times she met him face to face. Holmes and Watson walk away and Watson observes that Celia resorted to a defensive posture when repeating herself, so she was lying. Holmes wants to analyze her movements to determine how she's communicating with Kleinfelter.

They're across the street, watching her do interviews. Watson looks at her True Romantix page and asks if he thinks they're cut off from the world. Holmes denies that, because they've created a world that serves their needs. She says she's making a dating profile, and he suggests she won't bring anyone around. He used to think romantic love is a delusion, but then he met Irene Adler, who turned out to be a criminal. And that makes him feel liberated: "I am, now and forever, post-love." Celia talks to the security guard at the door, and they do the ol' bag-switch routine. Holmes plans to pick the guard's pocket and look through his phone. "It's a fascinating art. It's all to do with establishing trust and eye contact." He also stole Watson's watch at some point.

Back at the brownstone, Holmes is microwaving the guard's phone, because it's too dangerous to be allowed to live. The guard's name is Hector goes to a website called "Jamaica Key" where people trade stolen identity. Hector is part of a hacker collective called "Everyone." They also call themselves "Cyber-activists," and it's nice to see people still use the prefix "Cyber" somewhere. Hector has gotten messages from someone called "Defenestrator," who Holmes believes to be harboring Ezra Kleinfelter. Holmes is going to spend the night trolling Defenestrator until he reveals himself. That sounds fun! Watson goes to bed with a bowl of salad.

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