We Are Everyone

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: A- | 60 USERS: A
Hack the Planet!

Holmes is being interrogated on suspicion of planning to kill the President. He assures the Secret Service he has no such intentions, and they don't seem to buy it. He reminds them he already told them to call Gregson, and Angry Cop shouts at him. This has no effect, as Holmes calmly tells them they're in pursuit of "Skrewdriver," the author of a series of hate pamphlets. He got that from the bulletin board outside. He offers to tell them Skrewdriver's identity if they call Gregson. They don't think he could know that, so he shows off a bit. Agent Polk is in the middle of a divorce and has started shaving his chest, and the other one has recently become vegan, but he needs to find alternate sources of protein. This is impressive enough for them, and Holmes and Watson are soon outside on the sidewalk. It's night.

Watson still has the 5,000-page manuscript with her, and she's cranky about spending three hours answering questions about presidential assassinations. Holmes says the police got to the bunker, but it was gone. There was just a card that said "Everyone" on it. Gregson thinks they were monitoring the police band. Holmes has a new phone, which he "liberated" from Agent Polk.

Brownstone. The doorbell rings, and Watson answers it. It's Jeff Heinz, from True Romantix. He explains that he got some really weird messages from her with her home address. Oh, those hackers. They filled her profile with weird stuff, and Jeff says he figured it wasn't her. So he came over to see if she was okay. In the background, Holmes shouts, "Right, hack this!" Watson asks if she could have a couple of days, but she looks forward to seeing him.

Their power has been turned off, but Holmes has a generator. Weirdo. And he's accessing their neighbor's wireless, which is just common sense. He's on Jamaica Key pleading for mercy from Everyone. He doesn't expect any, but maybe if they respond, he can get a dialogue going. Watson wants to talk about Irene, although Holmes corrects her that Irene's name is Moriarty. And he doesn't want to talk about her. The messages on the computer are mostly "Get lost" and "No mercy," although BAD_SEED says "Shoe on head." That's a weird message. I like that Holmes's messages are all complete sentences, even though he normally texts in short bursts of punctuation. Holmes explains that he is being asked to upload a picture of himself with his shoe on his head. He's willing to go along with it. Someone else demands "naked pics," and he's fine with that too. But they clarify: "Not you, the chick," and Watson is reluctant. Holmes says they're investigating a murder. BAD_SEED says Kleinfelter's gone far away and JORMUNGANDR says, "EVERYONE SHUT UP NOW. WE SHOULDN'T BE TALKING TO HIM." He or she is correct! And indeed, everyone stops responding right then. For a collective, Everyone is very willing to let one person dictate their actions.

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