Eli Stone
Father Figure

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Couch Baron: B | Grade It Now!
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Lies, Lies, Lies, Yeah
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

The previouslies flow right into a hefty mechanic type who's just hooked up Eli's car to be towed. Eli tells the guy that the sporty convertible is who he is, but the guy replies, "Apparently, it's who you were." Hefty Mechanic, we already have a Dr. Chen. The point is that it's a company car, and the company has apparently decided to take it away. Who would have guessed that Eli's refusal to do the work the senior partners asked him to would have negative consequences? Eli begs the guy not to take it, but he's unmoved, and snarks, "Seems to me like a real prophet would have seen this coming." That would be funnier if it didn't make me wonder how this schlub knows about Eli's prophet status. Eli will risk everything so Jordan doesn't find out about the aneurysm, yet he's blabbing to randoms about being a prophet? Sometimes twisting the story for the joke isn't worth it, and that means something coming from me. Anyway, nice car go bye-bye...

...and then Eli is pedeconferencing with Sassy Patti as the latter tells him he's going to be late for another staff meeting. Eli complains that he would have been on time, but since his car got repo'd, he had to take two buses and a BART train to get there. I...doubt that. Unless the establishing shots are lying to us, Eli lives in the city, and San Francisco proper is not large. The backlot they shoot this show on is probably bigger, which may be the source of the confusion. Sassy Patti establishes that Eli referred to his ride as his "Millennium Falcon," and that he even made noises that sound to me like those speeder bikes made in Return Of The Jedi when he changed lanes. Okay, Eli's a big dork? Now we're getting somewhere. Sassy Patti, not surprisingly, doesn't see it that way, as she thinks the loss of the car yields "one less thing to bug the hell out of me about you." It seems only fair that she even up the score now, no? Eli tells Sassy Patti that Jordan isn't going to break him, but she responds that his engagement party is breaking her, and she's been color-coding RSVPs according to Taylor's wishes while Taylor's assistant has been busy doing her job. That does seem a little unfair to Sassy Patti, but then again, it's not like Eli's been generating a whole lot of actual company work lately to occupy her time. Eli leaves Sassy Patti and runs right into Maggie, who babbles about Matt being out of town and wanting to sub in to argue some motion or other for some case and wanting Eli to help her out, since she feels like she needs a win. Considering this subplot goes absolutely nowhere and doesn't afford Maggie the opportunity to be even the slightest bit involved in any other subplot, I think we could have done without her this week. After Eli calls her on an egregious mixed metaphor, she abjectly begs for help, and Eli sighs in defeat. They head into the meeting...

...wherein Tom Amandes is telling everyone that associate billables are down lately, and the partners are concerned. A broken-looking dude pipes up that "many of us" are staying there overnight and sleeping on cots. Tom Amandes deliciously suggests that the firm remove the cots, and then adds, "Kidding. Or not! You decide." How I love that man. Jordan mentions the very case Maggie was just on about, saying they need someone to assist with it, so Maggie pipes up and volunteers. Jordan: "Who are you, and why are you at my table?" Not that I couldn't listen to Victor Garber talk all day, but...if literally no partner even knows who Maggie is, who the hell hired her? If the joke makes no sense, it's distracting, and for Jordan not to be familiar with all the associates doesn't make him look like much of a businessman, to be perfectly honest. It's not like he's got a hundred lawyers working for him. When Maggie mentions that she's enlisted Eli to back her up, though, Jordan is pleased. Eli tells Maggie he hates her, which: fine, and then he hears battlefield sounds. He looks up...

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Eli Stone

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