Eli Stone
Heal The Pain

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B- | Grade It Now!
Eli: Dragonlawyer of the Firm

Maggie next has to convince Jordan to allow her, a first-year associate, to take the case. Jordan reminds her of the firm's policy against such allowances. Maggie starts to blather, "Yes, but I wouldn't be trying the case alone. Eli -- Mr. Stone -- is --" "Dead to me," Jordan growls. "And properly, so, sir," Maggie continues, without missing a boot-licking beat, and goes on about Eli still being a senior associate, due in no small part to Jordan's munificence and therefore still able to practice law. Jordan accedes that flattery and loopholes are the fastest way to his heart and allows Maggie to take the case with Eli. However, there's a small wrinkle: Maggie has to "first chair." Cutting through Maggie's ensuing splutterings, Jordan points out that Eli is on probation, "If he so much as sneezes in open court, you will be held responsible." Meaning: Eli can't be fired, but Maggie can. Sneeze, Eli! Sneeze!

The next morning, Maggie is predictably kerfuffled and doing stuff like not sleeping, wearing two different shoes, and prattling on endlessly about it. She also complains that Taylor has been staring daggers at her ever since the two of them went to Hawaii together. Gee, if you're so worried about that, Maggie, then why do you lose all control and kiss him later? Yeah. Thought not. Personally, I think Maggie just brought up Taylor to get Eli to call her his "ex-fiancée," but that's the bitch in me talking. After going all high-pitched about Eli calling her paranoid -- which he didn't, like, at all -- Eli says, "Oh, yeah, this isn’t going to get old." It already is, dude. It already is. We then segue into Maggie giving Eli all sorts of jobs to do, but he's already done every single one of them as well as set up a deposition at the hospital. Reminding him that she's lead counsel, Maggie gets annoyed that he scheduled a depo. "You're right," Eli says blandly, "With your job in danger, of course you'd want to make all the decisions without any input whatever from me." Maggie -- for whom irony is just a metal, sort of like goldy -- nods authoritatively, "Well, scheduling the depo was a smart idea -- good initiative." She's stumped about what to do next, so Eli tells her to borrow some shoes, get her notes, and meet him back there in five minutes. Maggie runs off.

Turk Case. Dowd and Bennett are talking Turk into meeting with Sweren personally, and we learn that Mrs. Turk has "kind of moved out." When Dowd offers his sympathies -- I'm shocked he doesn't go all, "bitches, man!" -- Turk says, "It wasn't exactly her choice. I kinda helped her pack." Bennett suggests that it wouldn't be the worst thing for the two Turks to reconcile, especially if they go to trial. Turk gets all antsy about the idea of going to trial because, apparently Dowd promised it wouldn't be necessary. Before they can get into Bennett's point, an underling runs in with a DVD from the ADA. Bennett sighs that the ADA isn't coming, and they play the DVD. It shows Turk at batting practice -- or spring training or the company's softball playoffs or some such baseball stuff -- precisely aiming foul balls at a tank of water. Ruh-roh! Bennett goes on about how their defense for Turk's case was going to be "who in the world could hit a ball accurately enough to kill?" and now they need to discuss options. Turk gets pissed and leaves, saying they're his lawyers, so they need to figure it out. Dowd and Bennett go though another round of loud disagreeing on the case. Dowd wants them to enter a not guilty plea, and Bennett thinks he needs to get over his Jayson Turk lunchbox and deal with the reality of the case. As they're going before their judge tomorrow, Dowd asks, "If we can get the [DVD] excluded, will you get behind a straight acquittal?" "That's a pretty huge if," Bennett tells him quietly.

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Eli Stone




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