Later, Eli gives Beth a call and says he'd like to take her up on her offer to talk. Presumably he's not going to want to discuss what a fox his brother is, but I'd be happy to step in for that part of the conversation.

"Principal Ackerman" is now under cross-examination, although since he's being played by Ethan Phillips, despite the presence of any multicolored makeup or a mohawk, he will heretofore be known as Principal Neelix. He says that the school has a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to pranks that are disruptive to the other students' education. Eli gives examples of time when students pulled pranks that only got them suspended or even less, and then says his zero-tolerance policy "is more like a six-tolerance policy." Eli passes the witness, and we stay across the room so as not to overhear Jordan seething "Six-tolerance policy? What the hell does that even mean?" The opposing counsel asks Principal Neelix why his school has an Abstinence Only program, and Neelix tells her that it's the only program the Federal government will give them money for. He goes on that if it got out that a student played a song like "I Want Your Sex" at an assembly, they'd lose their funding, which seems a little off given that WORD ALREADY GOT OUT. The opposing counsel turns and gives a little triumphant grin to the judge, like, do lawyers actually do that in real life? Like, "I hope you marked that on your scorecard, Your Honor!" The steno got your big victory down, honey -- no need to oversell it. Jordan stands and requests a rebuttal witness -- "Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou," or, to the layman, George Michael. Need I tell you how much Jordan relishes pronouncing every syllable in his idol's real name? I didn't think so. The judge agrees, but calls a recess until the next day. Principal Neelix looks upset, probably because chances just got a lot better that W. is going to take a pair of scissors to his budget.

CCJ is on the stand saying that if he were a jurist on his case, he could find precedent for ordering his son to save his life. Then...why don't you? I think your attorneys could use the help here. Matt gets up and spins a yarn about how his dad left him and his mom when he was six, and he died three years ago. He gets a little emotional as he says that if he'd had a chance to save his dad's life, the first thing he would have wanted to know is why he should. CCJ doesn't bite at first, but Matt is relentless in asking why Scott should give a shit about him. Finally, CCJ cries, "Because I want to live!" Well, he's no Susan Hayward, but I'll still allow the answer. Not sure things are going to work out, though, because Scott looks like he's sucking an actual lemon at the moment. Seriously, look at his lips! It's either that or he's trying to get the cocaine off his teeth.