Eli Stone

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now!
Chimpback Mountain

Eli comes in to see Keith and tells him about the "vindictive warden," but Keith opines that it's not like Mosley isn't a troublemaker. He says that as a public defender, you're lucky to get a client who's actually innocent once in three years, and those are the ones -- "that you fight for?" Eli asks. "David wasn't one of them?" Keith deflects this, so Eli tells him that Mosley's been a model inmate (...except for the hunger strikes, I guess) and deserves a parole hearing, and while he's aware Keith doesn't know him well, he's in unfamiliar legal territory here and could really use Keith's help. Keith doesn't say anything, but looks like he's going to reluctantly agree. Didn't come across such unflagging earnestness in the public defender's office, eh Keith?

In Jordan's office, Marci is observing that he has some new art, but Jordan steels himself with a sip of something strong and asks her to cut the shit, so she tells him that basically, Fortune 500 clients have lately been the rats to their sinking ship. Jordan informs her that billables are up ten percent this quarter, but she says that follows three in decline. She brings up Eli and the problems he's causing with his do-goodery, although I'm not sure I follow her argument, since it sounds like billables were steadily going down until he got a conscience. Jordan doesn't point this out, though, instead icily wondering why one associate is worth the concern of a senior partner "who hasn't even worked in this office in three years." Marci counters that Eli is symptomatic of a larger problem at WPK, and if this is how she feels now I can't imagine the gay chimps are going to help. Jordan bites out that no one has brought any such concerns to him. Marci steps forward: "Consider it done." While I don't like her antagonizing Jordan, if she has Maggie in mind when she mentions the newfound problems, I'm hard pressed to disagree.

Matt shit-eatingly leads Taylor into a conference room, wherein she almost jumps out of her skin when she sees Pete The Gay Chimp sitting in one of the chairs. Matt introduces them and asks Pete to shake her hand, and he endearingly obliges by sticking out an arm. Taylor, however, is not quite ready for that, so Matt informs her that they're Pete's legal team, and then introduces Taylor to the blonde woman next to Pete, who's the "primatologist" at the Parkland Zoo. Pete starts spinning his chair around as the woman, "Layla," tells Taylor that she hears her specialty is family law, and Taylor acknowledges that, but jokes that her cases are usually limited to her own species. Layla, not breaking a smile: "Many zoologists would argue that the chimpanzee is already a member of the homo genus." Well, that may be, but she said "species," and it's been a long time since I took biology but I'm pretty sure that's the "sapien" part. Hey, I would have skipped being a know-it-all again, but just smile politely next time, Layla. I know you can do it, given your reaction to Matt's statement that Pete is a "homo homo." Anyway, Matt stage-whispers to Taylor about her love of animals while hitting on her, but Taylor asks, "I'm sorry, who told you I loved animals?" We cut out of the scene right there, which is disappointing. No needle-scratch? No Seinfeld-esque "Stone" with fist-clench? Not even a response of, "Well, you slept with me, didn't you?" What is TV coming to? (Oh, fine, maybe he didn't catch on yet. Sheesh!)

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Eli Stone




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