Eli Stone
Praying For Time

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Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Crisis Of Faith
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Many thanks to Keckler for hilariously subbing in for me these last two weeks.

Eli's shaving and telling himself to have a good day with the aid of a book called Achievement Through Affirmation, which he has open by the sink. In a very "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough..." tone, he announces that there will be no George Michael songs and no visions. I know Eli's kind of a priss, but what guy shaves with his shirt on? True, I wouldn't complain if we were dealing with, like, Jim Belushi here, but I still think we're lacking vérité. Perhaps the powers above agree, as on cue, the room starts to shake, causing Eli to nick himself. Glass breaks around him, and he runs out to the living room in a panic and, as his TV falls over, squeals, "Not the plasma!" Hee. He grabs what looks like a trophy off the shelf and runs out into the hall yelling "Earthquake!" at the top of his lungs. Of course, anyone who wouldn't be aware of that occurrence, were it actually happening, would have to lack not only hearing but tactile sense as well, so this is all so the tatted guy in the hallway whom Eli almost bowls over can look at him like he's crazy and comment, in regard to the trophy, "Nice duck." Eli uncertainly heads back into his apartment, although I'd think he'd be a little happy here, considering his 50-inch is still in working order.

Patti: "I'm not in the mood, Eli." There's a banner headline. Eli asks Patti what she would pick in an earthquake if she only had time to save one thing. Considering her response, I'd have to guess her sassiness. Anyway, Eli notes that Patti has been Extra-Super-Sassy in the last week, and she tells him it's because he's representing that "scumsucking lizard" Salinsky. Patti's problem is that Salinsky is a developer who's going to turn her old community into a gentrified white neighborhood with Pottery Barns and Barnes and Noble and all the things that yuppies rely on these days. Not that her anger isn't understandable, but blaming the developer seems to miss the point. Shouldn't they be taking this up with the city? Anyway, Eli tells Patti that he made a deal with Jordan that if he took the case, he could get Patti back as his assistant, but Patti is unmoved, and storms off. Considering how much she hates working for Taylor, you'd think she'd at least thank him for the sentiment.

Oh, fab, it's time for Maggie in the break room. Let's shorthand this: Maggie has also been acting weird even for her all week, and Eli wants to talk about the kiss, but Maggie has a boyfriend (...okay, and: poor guy), and she wants to forget about it, and then Taylor comes in wanting to talk about Salinsky, and of course somewhat jealously notes that she's interrupting something. Maggie and Eli make unconvincing denials, and Eli leaves with Taylor as Maggie "Oh, Alice"-s herself. Next!

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Eli Stone

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